Disappointed In Myself...But Moving Forward
Monday, April 09, 2012
I'd imagine there will be SO many of these blogs on SparkPeople today. I had one HORRIBLE day yesterday, food-wise. OK, the entire weekend wasn't great.
Actually, Saturday was excellent until I bought those sugar cookie decorating kits for the kids to do on Sunday and my hubby and kids went out and left me all alone in the house. I thought, "Just one...nobody will notice." Well, one turned into 3. Three cookies. And I had also snuck two bite-sized pieces of chocolate at an Easter egg hunt earlier that day. Still...it wasn't HORRIBLE. Just a small blip in my overall magnificent success over the previous week.
Then, Easter. I told myself I'd follow South Beach and wouldn't cave in. But, then those cookies came out again...and I had one. Then, I thought I'd nibble a couple jelly beans and maybe just have a bun with a hot dog...it's just one bun! Managed to have my burger with no bun and did eat a TON of veggies, so those were about my only redeeming choices yesterday. Honestly...I lost track of how many cookies I had yesterday. THAT is bad.
Scale read 5 lbs heavier this morning. I'm sure that's not all "real" weight gain...I had a LOT of grilled food this weekend so I'm sure a lot of it is water gain and salt. But, it's very discouraging because I did SO WELL last week. It's like I sabotaged myself.
There is a bright side...I feel that I've learned a very important lesson. I can't be trusted to "just have a little" without completely falling off the wagon. At the same time, I understand that never having "just a little" will be almost impossible if this is truly a lifestyle change. So, I need to figure out a way to be able to have my bites of cake here and there and eat them too...maybe have my husband help me and only have my "cheats" when he is around to see and help monitor. It's the secret eating that gets way out of hand...and makes me feel the worst later on.
That being said, it's a new day. And today I choose correctly. Even if I did gain 5 lbs for real, which I'm sure I didn't, I wouldn't want to give up now. Why go completely backward? That would be ridiculous. Besides, I can't forget how wonderful it felt to be healthy. I'm not giving up. I'm on this road for as long as it takes.