Saturday, April 07, 2012
Maybe it's in the air, or the stars, or that wickedly full moon, but yesterday sucked. I had a crappy run yesterday and almost felt like stopping mid course and crying because of it. I was trying my w2d2 c25k run. I had my new shoes and the last couple of runs had gone pretty well. I couldn't flippin breath!! I could barely make 30 seconds on before I looked like a fish out of water!! (gonna check and see if I have exercise induced asthma or reactive airway)
It was so frustrating! And I felt like such a failure!! After 12 weeks at the gym doing cardio and strength training and I still can't run for 30 seconds???? WTH??? It was like I had just gotten off the couch after not doing a thing for a year! I felt like I had made NO progress whatsoever and for a brief couple of minutes I just couldn't take it!
My program is a modification of c25k. I actually run the 5k part in the intervals suggested. When I got to the end I had actually cut a minute off my time. 43:45 Still didn't make me feel any better though. I kept thinking, I can't run this race gasping like a beached perch!!!
I have 9 wks until the 5k I signed up for. I KNOW if I keep training I will improve some by then. But probably not as much as I had hoped. Still instead of focusing on how far I have to go, I MUST look at how far I've come. Reality vs. expectation.
And I hate Easter weekend because I get roped into stuff I really really don't like to do... but I'm the one who didn't say 'no' to these things ( chaperoning a lock in and working the pancake breakfast after sunrise service which means being in the kitchen from 5:30 a.m. until noon and I do not like to cook really.)
rant over. It actually felt pretty good to get those things out and in front of me. I can certainly see where I can change things to help with these feelings. (like saying no I can not help, but I'll help you find someone who can)