Wednesday, April 04, 2012
I have been dreaming of this day for months! I don't even know where to begin. How about here.
I don't even remember this girl very much. I know she was very sad and depressed. At 357 pounds she didn't do much but eat and sleep. She thought quitting smoking a year earlier would help her health, but she still couldn't breathe. Sleep apnea had consumed her nights and heartache consumed her day. She ate to feed her emotions. As much as she hated food and what it had done to her life, it still made her feel better.
She had decided though, that she deserved to live. Whatever it took THIS was going to be the last time she truly started over. No more "I'm going to try" it was "I'm going to do this!" Everyone although very supportive, didn't have high hopes. She was sick of being the fat, lazy girl who had a pretty face if only she would lose some weight . She was done dreaming. It was her time.
The first few weeks were very hard! But she pushed through. Walking as much as she could without feeling like death. She tracked EVERYTHING she ate. She was starting to feel proud of herself.
She was progressing. The weight began to fall off. Maybe, just maybe this time it is going to work! By Easter she was on cloud 9. :)
Before she knew it. it was summertime. She had a few problems here and there, but as soon as she fell off the wagon, she hopped right back on. People were finally starting to notice the change...and by July 2011 she had lost her 100 pounds, and been the smallest she had been since she was 16.
In August when her girls went back to school, she decided to join the gym. Oh the elliptical about killed her the first time. 5 minutes and she was done. Of course her Sparkfriends reassured her that it would get easier. Of course they were right. XOXOXO
The holidays came and went. She survived. Did she splurge at her Mother-in-law's house? Yep. Did she regret it? Yep. That is why it is a journey and not an easy fix. Right back on the wagon she went.
The last few months have been hard. Harder than she ever thought. She knew she had made it through the last 16 months, she can make it the rest of her life. 42 pounds away from being "healthy" and couldn't be happier :)