Tuesday, April 03, 2012
Good morning friends, I have been off of spark for a few days now and I learned one very important thing:
I CAN NOT AFFORD TO STAY AWAY FROM SPARK!!!!
I went totally off wagon AGAIN. But the difference is that I am ending it and putting a stop to something that very well might have been the end of my run on spark and my weight loss journey in the past. I did learn one more thing about myself:
I NEED SPECIFIC GOALS.....small, large in the middle, any kind of goal to be working towards and NOT be so nonchalant about the goal.
The in the middle of all this eating, everyone in my family except my husband has gotten ANOTHER 24 hour stomach bug. I for one am soooooo sick of being sick! I don't know what was going on last month, but am hoping that March marks the end of sickness for me. It hit me on Friday/Saturday, Kaleigh on Friday/Saturday, James on Sunday and yesterday, Samuel started telling me, "belly very hurts", he said it again this morning, but seems to be more energetic and up and around today.
Also to add to my fun weekend, I had THREE band events for Kaleigh in THREE days. Saturday was for her high school jazz band, which was an hour away, they took second. Sunday was for her high school concert band, that one was a hour and forty minutes away and that one they sounded totally amazing at and the director was so excited, until they went to clinic and were told of all their faults. The director sent out an email to parents and kids, saying that they will not being returning to that competition. He thinks it might be due to that they were the only CT in the lineup for their division and all the rest were from surrounding areas in MA. I was blown away by their performance though, totally amazing. Then last night, she played with the community band, which is voluntary and is made up of people ages 10-65. It was a lot of fun. Best part was seing her face when her BF showed up. They had a horrible day on Sunday and that day he walked in the rain to our house to talk to her to work things out, which he got in trouble for and she didn't expect to see him at the concert at all. Young love, such fun.
This weekend also brought some stress from my parents, again telling me all I do wrong as a parent, which I just find a million times amusing though I know deep down it does effect me. This time, the entire time I tried to think in the back of my head "They have no right to do this....they are alcoholics who raised one out of two of their kids to be independent citizens." I loved when my brother joined in as well, considering he is going to be 36 this year, still lives at home with a part time job and has a 15 year old daughter that he doesn't even talk to and hasnt in many many years. Who are they to judge me, what basis do they have? NONE, so tried very hard to ignore their points and kept remembering they have no clue even what is like to raise a child in this time period.
So, getting back on track, been trying for a few days now, and daughter came to me yesterday, unhappy with her weight and she has been trying to get things under control as well. So, it hit me maybe we should have a little friendly contest to get things going, which just went on a roll from there. We are doing three small challenges. She is putting $5 per challenge, I am doing $10. We are going to see who can lose the most weight in 15 days. At the end of the three of them, we will be at the day before our trip to NYC with her band to see a show, dinner and some shopping. So, I really don't care if I win, I kinda hope she wins 2 out of 3 of them to give her some spending money and feel better about herself. I know that this challenge, will put me back on route. That is when I realized I need to have goals, even small ones to check myself in with. I have no amount of weight I NEED to lose by this time period. In these 45 days I would love to lose 15 pounds, going along with the 15 theme, but that is going to be hard, so realistically, I will be happy with losing 10 pounds. We weighed in this morning, I am up only .7 pounds from my last weight, which I was shocked about since exercise has been at a minimum or non existant and eating crappy. Anyhow, I am off and running this morning and need to find ways to exercise. I have two weeks off from Zumba and my bike is making a bad noise, so my husband needs to take it apart. Tonight I have my Zumba buddy coming and we are doing Zumba here. It should be fun and funny.
I hope everyone is doing well. I have to sigh off now since my little one is begging to sit on my lap, ah the fun of sick kids. I hope you all have a great day....
To my friend Mennoly: I will try to check in with you personally soon, I miss you and have been thinking of you all weekend. It was just extremely crazy!
Love to all my sparkfriends!