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    ONEREALLYBIGDOG   24,563
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WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES...

Monday, April 02, 2012


Excerpt from a Dog's Diary........


8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpt from a Cat's Diary...

Day 983 of my captivity....

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter I am". Bastards.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but, at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated
cell, so he is safe... for now.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISHKALA 10/8/2012 11:41PM

    I just had a chance to read this now - and thank you for making me laugh! I think you have captured the personalities of our furry friends perrrfectly! emoticon emoticon

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LINDAMARIEZ1 7/4/2012 2:30PM

    LOL very cute! emoticon emoticon

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JINLYNN 4/5/2012 7:33PM

    Love your sense of humour! Thanks for sharing this - I got a good laugh from it.
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BABY_GIRL69 4/2/2012 11:00PM

    Too cute....

God bless,

Dee

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FIT-AT-50 4/2/2012 10:51PM

    You've captured the essence of our fur babies! Love it!

Have your read, "A Dog's Purpose" by Bruce Cameron? If you haven't, I think you'd love it.

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SRHALLIN 4/2/2012 12:32PM

    I loved this. This has truly made my day. Thanks, Tony!

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SHERYLDS 4/2/2012 12:16PM

    Next Day
10AM visit to the Vet...Not my favorite Thing emoticon

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