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Monday, April 02, 2012

Excerpt from a Dog's Diary........

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpt from a Cat's Diary...

Day 983 of my captivity....

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter I am". Bastards.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but, at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated
cell, so he is safe... for now.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
MISHKALA 10/8/2012 11:41PM

    I just had a chance to read this now - and thank you for making me laugh! I think you have captured the personalities of our furry friends perrrfectly! emoticon emoticon

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LINDAMARIEZ1 7/4/2012 2:30PM

    LOL very cute! emoticon emoticon

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JINLYNN 4/5/2012 7:33PM

    Love your sense of humour! Thanks for sharing this - I got a good laugh from it.

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BABY_GIRL69 4/2/2012 11:00PM

    Too cute....

God bless,


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FIT-AT-50 4/2/2012 10:51PM

    You've captured the essence of our fur babies! Love it!

Have your read, "A Dog's Purpose" by Bruce Cameron? If you haven't, I think you'd love it.

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SRHALLIN 4/2/2012 12:32PM

    I loved this. This has truly made my day. Thanks, Tony!

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SHERYLDS 4/2/2012 12:16PM

    Next Day
10AM visit to the Vet...Not my favorite Thing emoticon

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