Sunday, April 01, 2012
Apparently I am struggling with picturing and realizing my true size. After loosing over 240 pounds I often picture myself still 300 pounds or more. My mind has not caught up with my body. I can look in the mirror and see my body size accurately, yet if I close my eyes and imagine my body then or at a later time my body image becomes distorted and I see myself much larger.
This body distortion spills over into my clothing size as well. Today my friend Barbara gave me a top that was too big for her. I looked at the size (18) and told her that it wasn't going to fit. She told me to just try it on. I reluctantly tried it on and was was shocked that IT FIT!! Then she gave me this beautiful brown linen outfit, again a size 18. I told her the pants were just not going to fit; I am not a size 18! Well after trying on the outfit, the top is a bit big under my arms and the bottoms FIT PERFECTLY!! I can't believe that I can fit into a size 18 pants. Every brand is different, as I have a pair of wool pants size 22 that are tight, but I am continuing to reach new milestones.
Just as it has taken me time to find my self worth, it will take me longer still to correct my image distortion. The odd thing is, is that when I was 450 pounds I didn't see myself as that heavy and now that I am 205 pounds, I see myself as heavier.