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April MUST be better

Sunday, April 01, 2012

My month of March was bad. February 27th was the last day I was on SparkPeople. I have had the most horrific experience of my life. My twin tried to commit suicide on February 25th. For two days I tried to get a hold her on the phone (she lives six hours away) On the third day, I made a friend of hers break into her apartment. She had taken lots and lots of pills and the paramedics could not even register the bottom number of her blood pressure. She had laid there for 40 hours after taking the pills! I rushed down to be there with her. She was in a Coma for 11 days on a respirator. The third day I was there, I waited outside the ICU as she "coded". Sooo scary. I was in so much anguish. God did not want her yet and answered my prayers because I still needed her. She is ok physically now, but receiving the much needed psychiatric help. Me, I'll never be the same. I was in NY for 25 days. I am glad to be home. I missed my family and my dog and my own life

Life must go on. Even if she is going back to her husband who just got out of jail. He was charged with drug possession and domestic abuse charges.

I am thankful she is alive but a little messed up about the choice she made and the choices she is making now. Being an identical twin is a blessing and a curse. I am trying to focus on the "blessed" part. Not easy for me right now.

I had just got back to SparkPeople after a long hiatus only a few weeks before everything happened, and I was surprised to know how much I missed it while I was in NY. I stayed at a place called the Danielle House which was a safe haven for families with loved ones in the hospital. It was a Godsend, but not much time on a computer. Not to mention the days I couldn't eat anything for fear of vomiting from the stress and the other days that I couldn't eat enough to fill the hole of anguish and hopelessness. Me weight went up and down, I think. There was no scale around for me to check. I think that was a good thing.

April must be better, and I am continuing on my journey to be a healthier person. I tried as much running as I could while in NY and I am half way into my training for my first marathon. Long distance running is very challenging for me and I am hurting physically and emotionally much of the time lately. The spiritual part of running helps, until I stop and experience the physical discomfort. May 27th is the date of THE marathon! (Key Bank Vermont City Marathon)

I will persevere!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Oh Lisa, I am so sorry to hear about your sister, and so glad that you had such a huge hand in saving her life! Your dear twin is very lucky to have you. I truly hope she gets the help she needs so that she can grow to be as bright, healthy, and hopeful as you.

    1701 days ago
    You are amazing. I can't even imagine what a toll that has taken on you. I am glad she made it through but now comes the hard part for her. I hope your running continues to keep you sane.
    1704 days ago
    As a twin, I can imagine how horrible all this was! The idea of losing my sister is scary enough, and even scarier if its by her own hand...I'm so glad you were able to step in in time. Here is a quick prayer for you:

    Dear Lord,
    thank you for saving her sister's life. Please help her to be strong in this terrible time and continue to focus on hope for the future. Please heal her sister's mental anguish and get her the help she needs. Thank you for giving them such a strong connection. Please give them both your indescribable peace.

    In Jesus name,
    1708 days ago
  • HEIDI-25
    You have good reason to be on an emotional and physical roller coaster! I am the mom of identical twins and know how strong their bond is. It must be very difficult for you. I am glad that running is helping. I had my first 20 miler today and I am sore today. I had overtrained, not eaten or hydrated like I should I took a few rest days last weekend. I am feeling physically better than before the rest.
    Take care of yourself. Your sister needs you but remember that you cannot "do it for her". I hope that she has the strength inside her to realize what a wonderful person she is and that she deserves better.
    Check in with us soon :)
    1709 days ago
    Hi there - long time no see/hear/or anything! I'm soooo sorry about your sister. I was horrified reading about you going through that ordeal with her. Life sure throws us plenty of curveballs!
    I'm glad you're picking yourself up and are ready to get back on track. I know you will do great - you are so strong!
    My family (and extended family) will be in the VCM again this year too. We have two full marathoners, one 2-person relay team and four 5-person relay teams! It's going to be a zoo. But so much fun. If I see you I'll be sure to cheer you on. I'm so proud of you running the whole thing - inspiring!!
    1709 days ago
    I am so glad that your sister is okay, how scary!
    I agree with you 100% that April will be better. I am doing the partner relay again for KBVCM this year, I'll send positive thoughts your way as you get ready for the marathon!!
    I hope that you have a good day!
    1709 days ago
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