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Scientists discover miracle weight loss food.

Sunday, April 01, 2012

Three Silos, South Dakota. April 1, 2012. (Associated Press)

A startling discovery was announced today by scientists working in the Food Science Department of the University of Northwest South Dakota.

"Previously off-limit foods for dieters have been discovered to actually hasten the weight loss process" said lead researcher Dr. Anita Mann. "But, ONLY if eaten in the right combinations" she added.

"Really, we had no idea that this would be the result of our experiments. We were as startled as anyone" said Dr. Mann.

Initially the scientists began by pairing foods long known to be high in sugars, fats, and calories to see if there were any unusual or unexpected interactions.

Long thought to be "no-no" foods for dieters, the scientists discovered that if bacon and chocolate ice cream were eaten together, they actually require more calories to digest than the foods contain. Thus eating the two foods in combination causes the body to lose weight. The more one eats, the more weight one loses.

"For the effect to work, the two foods must be combined in every single bite" said lead researcher Mann.

Only certain brands of ice cream were found to be effective. These included the so-called premium brands with the highest fat contents.

"One would think that low-fat ice cream would be more effective, but we found the opposite to be true" said Dr. Mann.

Local and national health authorities are very interested in the results and are designing follow-up studies with an eye towards clinical trials as soon as 2015.

"Soon obesity will be a thing of the past" predicted Dr. Mann.

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