Saturday, March 31, 2012
I'm going to be taking a little Spark Break. I'm going through some stuff right now and I'm not able to be a support to others. I have been noticing that my posts and blogs haven't been very positive lately and I think that is because I'm not feeling very positive lately. Truth is I'm not a very positive person. I'm a "glass is half empty" person. I have tried to be positive, but it just isn't working. I have actually lost friends in the past because they have told me that my depression is too depressing. And, I really don't want to be a downer.
I have been binging for 3 days now. I just can't get enough food. I realized today it is because my son's birthday is coming and I think I finally am realizing that my chance to be a mum is gone. I have tried to hold onto a shred of hope, but I am just facing reality, and the reality of it really sucks. It sucks really bad.
I'm not going to give up on my journey. I just need some time to grieve. Even though I haven't been eating well the last few days, I have still been exercising and drinking my water. That is how I know I'm not quitting. Tomorrow I will be eating better again. And...soon I will be back with a better attitude.
Even though I won't be here, I will be thinking about you all and cheering you on.
See you soon.
to all you Sparkly Peeps!