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    ON2VICTORY   47,759
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Men have self image issues too...Combating feelings with facts.

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Friday, March 30, 2012

I checked the CF website this morning and found yet another pic of me. The last one was funny, this one was not. All at once I had about 1000 emotions hit me all at once and it wasn't pretty. Imagine working for 4 years toward a goal only to see it come apart in a moment.

**** This is a 'Good Morning' ***

After having lost 115 pounds and having about 50 to go, as you would imagine, I have some loose skin issues but also I am still squishy too. I understand all of that but nothing really prepared me for the Kodak Confrontation.

I felt in a matter of seconds like:

1) Everything I have done over the last 4 years was null and void.
2) I am still fat.
3) Everything I have felt about me being strong was only an illusion.
4) I look ridiculous.
5) I am totally kidding myself.
6) I'm a lost cause and will never reach my goals.

I went to bed in a total funk.

"Shock moments" aren't just for the ladies. We can sometimes tease the ladies about being so emotional about stuff like this but make no mistake, we guys get them too, we just hide it better. It hurts to know that you are not as far along as you imagined yourself to be.


After I waking up, I still felt awful but.... my feelings don't "rule the roost"

Now for the FACTS:

Regardless as to how I look, the facts remain.

1) Long term successful weight loss is defined by the National Institute Of Health as " losing at least 10% of initial body weight and maintaining the loss for at least 1 y."
I have I have a high probability of keeping it off as defined again by the NIH.."Moreover, weight loss maintenance may get easier over time; after individuals have successfully maintained their weight loss for 2-5 y, the chance of longer-term success greatly increases"

FACT- I have lost 30% of my body weight total and have kept it off collectively since I started in 2008. These facts put me at the TOP 20% of those that have endeavored to change their lifestyles.

Click link here to fact check.. Both sources are authoritative, not opinion. The result of scientific trials and years of data collection.

Abstract Long Form from American Journal of Clinical Nutrition

2) I have shrunk from a 52 inch waist to a 38

3) I could barely jog a 1/4 mile when I started... finished my first marathon (26.2 miles) last September. An insanely small percentage of the US population EVER do that.

4) Overall, I feel much better and my fitness translates where it matters...real life. I can carry a tool bag up to the top of a conveyor system, going up 170 steps without passing out. BTW these are not steps to code either, they were made in the late 60's in an industrial setting where engineers didnt care that much for the guy that had to climb them.

5) MY goals are totally different now. I dream of finishing a Half Ironman, not perfecting my hot wing recipe. I live for different ideals, not just to please myself and my tastebuds. I love doing what i perceived impossible.

6) All that I have done, I have done under what many would perceive to be very difficult circumstances and have succeeded. The numbers don't lie.

So why did I post that brutally honest pic?

Because I want to lead by example.

You dont have to be perfect, just committed. The gym, the running path, the marathon, on the bike, in the swim, THIS is where ordinary people put extra-ordinary courage on display. It takes courage to look past your own perceived faults and put it all out there for the world to see. It took courage to transition from jogging at night where no one could see me to going wherever and whenever I wanted to. It took courage to swallow my anxiety and step up to the starting line of my first marathon knowing that anything can happen at that distance.

This is what separates me from a high percentage of the population that are satisfied so long as there is beer in the fridge and something good on TV.

It takes vision and courage to start with nothing but a disaster and forge that into something made of iron and it all starts in the inside first. What you are on the inside will come out and be visible to all someday.

I have my weaknesses for sure but overall I'm an ok guy with BIG dreams....

besides.. I have an advantage....

I have alot of practice being cool, when I get the physique I am looking for, look out!
emoticon emoticon

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
PUDU1009 6/8/2013 3:42PM

    Congratulations on your healthy living, positivity, and on being such an inspiration. People don't usually consider where a person has been, only where they are, but from now on I'll think twice. Real eye opener. Thank you!

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AMURDOCK68 5/19/2012 6:44PM

    Wow, I am glad I went back through so old SP e-mails and found your blog highlighted. I appreciate your perspective very much. it was interesting to hear how a male's self-talk can sound like my own. Best wishes on your continued health/fitness journey.

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MISSLISA1973 5/8/2012 8:01AM

    You are an awesome human being n so many ways. Thank you so much for sharing this blog, and for sharing your heart and life with us.

And don't let one unflattering picture get to you... you are quite the good looking man!! emoticon

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PURPLENY 5/5/2012 1:18AM

    I so needed to read this today. Thank you for your honesty and motivation!!

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MOMOMAR 5/2/2012 5:35PM

    All I can is wow. You are SO very real.

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BLUEBELLGIRLS 4/27/2012 3:03AM

  thank you

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HIPPYCHICK5005 4/17/2012 10:21AM

    This blog is so where I am at right now! Thanks for sharing!

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CBKS810 4/16/2012 12:53AM

    A real inspiration. And you put into words what so many of us feel on the inside. I can;t say enough - thank you for the blog.

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SUSIEMT 4/15/2012 10:19AM

    Thank you! I needed this reminder today. Keep up the good work.

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PSRN135 4/14/2012 7:29AM

  Thanks for posting this - - and you are right - we don't think of men having the same insecurities as women, so thanks for the reminder!!!!

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ROUNDTOWNMOM 4/10/2012 8:25AM

    Thank you............................need
ed this today.

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SANDEEB7 4/10/2012 2:20AM

    THANK YOU for being brutally honest, thank you for sharing, thank you for encouraging us all. Be blessed today. :) Persevere into the future. :D

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GOGWHATTA 4/9/2012 9:20PM

    You GO, GIRL!!!!!! Jusk kidding. I'm so SPARKED by your blog!!! emoticon

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RAD062010 4/9/2012 11:53AM

    You can because you believe you can!


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RAYNEVALO 4/9/2012 11:39AM

    We are our own worst critics. By the way, I think you look awesome and it doesn't matter what that silly picture looks like. You are still a rockstar!!

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    I think I can. I think I Can! I think I can!!

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FIT2BETHIN 4/7/2012 1:06PM

    I love your determination! Thanks for sharing ... It's good to know others are out there dealing with the same issues. Spark on!

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CARRIEMT 4/6/2012 6:04PM

    Can we borrow "Kodak Confrontation?"

I like the picture because you're really working hard, I can see it in your face. Think about all of the exercise pictures where the photographed isn't sweaty, red or making some silly face. I relate to you, not those other pics.

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CLOEARIEL 4/6/2012 5:40PM

    For what it's worth, my first thought in seeing this picture (and being honest) was - "way to go dude!" I see a man working toward a goal he has set. Every step toward that is a step in the right direction.


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EGRAMMY 4/5/2012 9:38PM

    emoticon Thanks for sharing. I do want to tell you that life doesn't really change totally when you "get there". But you are healthier and feel better about yourself.

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NANNA2ONE 4/5/2012 1:58PM

    Awesome blog. It is also a wonderful way to remind myself of how far I have come. I also think that all of us who deal with being overweight deal with those emotions of failure. Even when we think we have them under control they poke their ugly head back up. Good for you for putting those emotions back in their place.

Again thanks.

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    This is AWESOME!!!! And so true. I had tears in my eyes reading it. Especially when you talk about the courage that it takes reach our goals.
You are a shining example! Thank you for you inspiring messages.
UR emoticon

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DOTTY7267 4/4/2012 3:20PM

    Your blog was truly inspirational. You have taken me to a place I haven't visited in a while. A place of gratitude towards the things that I have accomplished thus far. I can become so consumed with what needs to change, that I can forget what has changed already! It has been 4 1/2 years for me and the maintenance of my weight loss. Stay encouraged and continue to motivate others. . .YOU ARE VERY ENCOURAGING!!!!

Comment edited on: 4/4/2012 3:20:49 PM

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RHAL1462 4/4/2012 11:40AM

    emoticon You turned yourself around and looked at the positive - that is the most of the battle!

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KWADHAMS 4/4/2012 11:03AM

    Yea, but look at those skinny, hot legs (i can day that because your my hubby).

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MARYM1962 4/4/2012 10:20AM

  good blog - and even at your goal weight, there could still be a "bad" picture out there. You have to take into consideration all the factors. For one, that pose would only flatter someone lik Arnold Schwarzenegger - IN HIS PRIME, NOT NOW. No one is at their best in mid-sweat! Keep up the good work and good luck with the Half Ironman!

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K_RENEE 4/3/2012 9:22PM

    Yay!! Keep up the good work!

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LEMON2012 4/3/2012 8:20PM

    "You dont have to be perfect, just committed"...Love it! Members like you are why I log onto Spark people and explore all the info and blogs. Your words are sincere and true! Thanks pal! emoticon

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BE-THE-CHANGE 4/3/2012 6:59PM

    Awesome blog!

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DINGALLSTOO 4/3/2012 5:55PM

    You're doing it, you can't feel bad about that! Keep up the good work.

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CHIFANG130 4/3/2012 2:17PM

    They used this picture of you on their website is because you are so inspirational. By the way, make sure they pay you for the photo op. emoticon I've always enjoyed reading your posts! You are emoticon

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SOCON8IV 4/3/2012 2:03PM

    This just made my morning. Thank you for opening up and being so amazingly honest. It's always nice to be reminded that this journey isn't isolated and lonely.

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    "It takes courage to look past your own perceived faults and put it all out there for the world to see."

Words to live by...........

I can't wait to read your blog after you've completed that Half Ironman! Afterall, you are a man of courage! Keep on keepin' on my friend! emoticon

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1STICKBLUES 4/3/2012 12:30PM

    Great read. Thanks for sharing.

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RHMORTON 4/3/2012 11:22AM

  Wow!! You have a great outlook on life & where to keep your focus. I wish you well. Keep up the great work.

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MARYJEANSL 4/3/2012 1:06AM

  You are so right in what you say. Thanks for your honesty.

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KOALALOVER1978 4/3/2012 12:17AM

    You are so right that these feelings are not just for women. The way you were able to convey your feelings and emotion from thsi one picture and turned around your perception of that picture and saw it for the reality of what it was and how it means to you. You rock man and are beautiful!

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CURVYGURL8 4/2/2012 10:24PM

    Thank you so much for today's blog. If nobody else gets it, believe me, I do. I only wish that i had your courage and was able to post those less-than-flattering pics of myself. Sadly, I avoid taking pictures with my significant other AND even my children because I am so embarrassed by how i look in the photos. You have inspired me in a way that i cannot begin to put into words. emoticon

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A1SYSTA 4/2/2012 9:29PM

    This is an excellent blog, i read it twice just so i didn't miss anything. So honest I can totally relate, yet so motivational and inspiring. I may come back and re-read this several times just as a reminder to just stay strong because there are good things to come. Great job!!!

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    Good attitude adjustment. You are strong and couragous. Here's to both of us carrying on!

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TEALBERI 4/2/2012 3:57PM

    Thank you for posting this. Its this type of inspiration I need to read while starting out. I've been going at this since Feb 21st, and I find days where I just don't want to keep on, but then I see progress I've made and streaks I've started, and I build momentum again. Thanks for the encouragement of this post!

Way to go on your progress. Extremely impressive and very motivating!!!

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KM1116 4/2/2012 3:39PM

  Great read... Thanks for sharing!

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BLUE_KARMA 4/2/2012 3:35PM

    Great reflection! Keep up the super work!

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MANDERS335 4/2/2012 2:53PM

    I definitely get that feeling too but we have to remember how far we have come and the goals that we have accomplished. Keep fighting! Never Give UP!!

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SCULLEN84 4/2/2012 2:49PM

    Amazing blog! I am greatful to have read it. I am a woman that often gets caught up in negative thinking. I am the only person that drags me down but I do it enough for everyone. I am going to remember to separate the fact from the feelings. Thank you!

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HHB4181 4/2/2012 2:33PM

    Great blog, thank you! emoticon

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SIRCATNIP1 4/2/2012 1:51PM


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SMITSAR 4/2/2012 1:28PM

    I'll be totally honest - I am not sure what is wrong with your picture. What I see is someone working on himself. Regardless of where you have been or where you are going, that picture alone shows your determination. Instead of seeing the negative, start seeing the positive and what that picture really tells you.

Way to go on all the progress you have made!!

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ABB698 4/2/2012 12:58PM

    Thank you for sharing Robert! From a woman's perspective, it's nice to know men think along the same lines, and it has nothing to do with vanity, but rather self perception. And wanna know what I thought when I saw the pic? "Wow, look at him rockin' his gym workout", that's it, just a guy working hard in the gym, and that looks good no matter what! Keep up the good work! emoticon

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KBAGIGI 4/2/2012 12:27PM

    Wow ~ you surely struck a nerve. Thank you for posting this. Great work and keep it up. You are an inspiration!


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