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Friday, March 30, 2012

The past few months have been hard on me. And the worst is still ahead.

Among many other things, I have begun the foreclosure process on my house, I had to surrender both of my dogs, I had a brief scare with a Navy drug test, one of my vehicles died, and my overall level of caring has all but ran out.

Throughout all of this mess, I have completely let myself go. I have found comfort in the wrong kinds of food and have had no desire to exercise. Rather quickly, I let my weight get back up to a depressing number. I knew it was coming and I did nothing to stop it.

I have decided to separate from the Navy in July, rather than September. I will be moving to Florida sometime in June.

This morning, I put on a Navy uniform that I hadn't wore in over a month. It fit...but just barely. It's tight and uncomfortable. And damn-near embarrassing. I feel as though everyone is looking at me, judging me.

Also this morning, I woke up early and worked out. It wasn't a crazy workout, but it was 30 steady minutes on the elliptical maching. I felt good afterward. I wanted to keep going, but I had to come to work. 6 hours later, I still want to keep going.

I am challenging myself to lose 15-20 pounds by May 12. I am going to work out as often as I can. I am going to try my best to eat better, too. Maybe not "Spark Recipe" better, but better than I have been over the past few months. Maybe treat the family to a nice meal out ever 2 weeks or so.

It's going to be hard, as I have fallen into a routine of badness and unhealthy habits. I'm pretty sure that this has just helped with keeping me "depressed" and in the dumps. But, I feel that if I start working hard and seeing progress, it's going to help put everything else into perspective and I'll be able to get myself back to where I need to be.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Wishing you well and know you will achieve a great life for you and your family.
    Eat nutrient dense foods to keep on your toes. emoticon emoticon
    2175 days ago
    emoticon You have had plenty of reasons to go off track. One good thing about Spark website is it is a place you can always come back to.

    Hope you continue to try to live healthy with exercise and food as it can keep you from getting worse. The elliptical sounds great. Remember you don't want to gain so much weight you have to buy a new uniform for discharge. One of my brothers did that.

    Our oldest son is losing his home through foreclosure. So when we came back from vacation, or sickcation as it turned out, there is a house full of his stuff here so we can't walk around. We are now checking out storage units tho they are expensive. And asking what is worth keeping. He has a Lucille Ball trailer he plans to live in as he doesn't want to move home at 53. Damn the economy or whatever it is.

    You and your children and wife are in my cares and prayers. Best wishes as you make your plans and goals for Fla. emoticon
    2180 days ago
  • ME40ME
    Change is good. You are on the right track. I heard goals and options which is always considered a winning recipe. Good luck!
    2184 days ago
    Neil, It is so good to hear from you again. With all that you have been through, I totally understand why you fell into a pattern of depression and an uncaring attitude towards yourself. I am so sorry that this has all happened, but I am happy to hear that you got on that eliptical machine again and have started a new plan for reformulating yourself. This is something that you need to do not only for yourself, but for your family. All of you deserve it! emoticon
    2184 days ago
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