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    K__IERRA123   27,445
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Broken


Thursday, March 29, 2012

I have not been really active on this site lately. I have been dealing with a lot in my personal life.

I need to get if off my chest and I don't know where to turn.

There has been a man I have been in love with for the last 5 years. We have not been together that whole time, but we have been for the last 2.

He is 47 years old, turning 48 on Saturday. I am 36. Last week I asked him to move out.

I have been letting him live with me without paying my very much (maybe $200 a month). I have a son. I guess what I am trying to say is that he walks all over me.

He does not help around the house. He eats all our food and does not replace it. He takes off for days on end without any explanation, except that I should assume he is camping. He does not treat my son with respect.

Despite all that, I feel like my heart is breaking. I am terrified. I am scared I can't do this alone. That I can't manage without his help.

I am also scared he will turn on me. I have to admit, he has done so before. He tried to have my son taken away and have me fired from my job.

I feel like such a loser for letting him in my life and caring so much about him. What is wrong with me????

I am unable to admit much of this to the people in my life. Instead I have shut them out.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MORTICIAADDAMS 4/2/2012 4:20PM

    I'm so sorry to hear this. Do what is right for you and your son. know it's not easy and regardless what path you choose we respect you and know your true worth. We will be here for you.

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DDHEART 3/30/2012 9:18AM

    I am so glad you felt comfortable "baring your soul" here with your sparkfriends. I agree with the great comments already made. Many a woman has made the mistake of giving away a part of herself in the name of love...and it is always hard to gather up your strength and say "no more" But, you are a strong woman, you are hurting but you can and will get through this. Remember that you and your son are more important than anything else...the more your remember this and respect yourself the more you will be respected by others. Stay strong, and hugs.

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DOLPHINNUT 3/29/2012 10:32PM

    I agree with the others, you are doing the right thing. Stay strong, you deserve better than that. emoticon

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MIQUEY73 3/29/2012 9:55PM

    I agree with everyone else. Stay strong. You will get thru this. emoticon

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STARTINGOVER311 3/29/2012 5:46PM

    I'm so sorry you're going through such a tough time. The only thing I can offer is to take care of yourself and your son. Sending hugs and prayers your way. emoticon

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SKYSEARCHER 3/29/2012 3:14PM

    You're making the right decision. If you're worried he may try to cause you trouble at work, you may want to let your boss know about what's going on. You don't have to go into all of the details, just that you're going through a difficult breakup and that you're worried that your ex will try to cause problems. If there was a prior incident, maybe say what happened then. *hugs*

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MOM2FAT1 3/29/2012 2:49PM

    emoticon

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RUNNER4LIFE08 3/29/2012 2:29PM

    It is hard to tell our hearts no sometimes..... Sorry you are going through this rough patch.

It sounds like you are doing the right thing though even though it hurts. I hope that you can remain strong and know that you do deserve better. Someone that will not take advantage of you.

Big hugs!

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MYLADY4 3/29/2012 2:23PM

    You ARE worth so much more than what he is giving. You are NOT his mother.

Is the fear of the unknown greater than the pain that you and your son are experiencing now. You do not want your son to see that it is ok to not treat someone with the utmost respect.

I applaud you for having the courage to say no more and wish you all the strength in the next and hopefully happier chapter of you life.

We are here to support you whatever way we can.

emoticon

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BEAUTIFLDZSTR 3/29/2012 1:50PM

    OMG hun i agree with the others and all I can say is Hugs to you!

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CININTHECHICITY 3/29/2012 12:42PM

    Don't call yourself a loser, call yourself a winner! You are a winner because you have the power and control over you - not this man, not anyone-only you! You are a winner because you have realized that you are worth more than dealing with a person who doesn't have the respect that both you and your son deserve! You are a winner because YOU have told him to leave. And, I believe that you will keep winning because knowing that this negative force in your life is on its way out is only a HUGE positive for you!

Keep your chin up...and keep WINNING!

XOXOXO,
Cindy

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QUEENTODDLER 3/29/2012 11:47AM

    The first thing I want to tell you is YOU ARE NOT A LOSER! You are a woman who put your trust and faith in the wrong man. And yes it took you a while to see the truth, but you did see it. You protected yourself and your son from an unhealthy person. Be proud of that.

Yes it will be a struggle to get your life back together, but you have done it before and you can do it again. You are strong and you are not broken, just dented a bit. With a little time and a little care and attention you can hammer out those dents and be whole again.

Take care of yourself and your son...and know that we are all here if you need an ear to listen or a shoulder to lean on.

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1CRAZYDOG 3/29/2012 11:37AM

    Prayers for you and your son. You WILL get through itwith your son. YOU are worth better than the treatment he dished out. ABSOLUTELY!

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TKTMTA 3/29/2012 11:22AM

    I know things seem bleak now but hang in there. I have dealt with similar issues and although it doesn't seem like it now it will get easier in time. Feel proud of yourself for standing up for you and your son. There is nothing wrong with caring for some one and the problem is not with you it is with him. I will keep you and your son in my prayers and if there is someone who has been supportive in the past chances are they will be there for you now if you need them.

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