Wednesday, March 28, 2012
This is an oldie but goodie. I love to sing it and sometimes it hits home more than others. I am healing slowly and just when I think I am okay another bad day hits. The song says along with the sunshine there has to be a little rain sometimes...it just seems like too many days are downpours!
I can't seem to get past the anger. It sneaks back up on me when least expected. I am struggling. Some days I cry but not as often as I did. I still hurt and my self esteem is still way down there and even though he assures me I am not competing with anyone my mind feels like I am. I compare myself with her and wonder so many things. I know in time it will get better but in the meantime I manage to muddle through and put on my happy face. People keep telling me to move on and let go of the anger but do they realize how hard that is? Have they been in my situation? Yes I know I need to move on and the anger has gotta go because that just isn't me but for now the wound is still fresh and hurts so it might take me a little longer to get past all of this.
The good thing is I am back to exercising and trying to lose weight which should help my self-esteem issue....