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    SHRINKINGLULU   12,440
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Me: Only Better (w/pics!)

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Wednesday, March 28, 2012

I caught myself daydreaming while I did my hair yesterday. Again.

I have a lot of unruly hair, so it takes a long time to "do right," so it is kind of my daydream and/ or sing in the bathroom time.



But that is neither here nor there.

I was having a "good mirror day," where I could see a lot of differences in my self.

I'd posted a picture, recently, of some new hair color on facebook for the friends I knew would want to see it. The picture wasn't anything exciting. I was fresh from the shower and had no make up or supportive undergarments on, just a big, baggy sweatshirt (that I LOVE because it was too small to zip a year ago and is now voluminous), just me and a goofy smile and my new pink streaks. I intended to just take it down the next day after the required close (but far away distance-wise) friends got to see it. But then people said such nice things about it!!! My face was thinner, I looked like the me they remember from when I was a teenager, all kinds of nice things. So I kept it (and posted it here, if you're curious). I was chatting with my oldest brother about it on the internets the next day, doing the old "I'm not even wearing make-up" thing all of us do (though the specific words often change), when he said the very best compliment yet:
"Health Shines."

How cool is THAT?!?!
I didn't even have a good compliment-displacing maneuver type comeback for that one; it was too good!
It was like a self-conscious-armor-of-compli
ment-refusal piercing bullet of awesomeness good.



So I was still riding high on that as I sang along loudly to my radio and tried to tame my crazy hair (sporting pink streaks once again!) and thinking...
It's going to be so great when I'm even thinner.
Just imagine how in-shape and awesome I'm going to look.
People will look at me and see an athlete and know how hard I work.

Blah blah blah blah blah. I'm sure you all have your own script, no need running down mine.

And you know what?
Screw that.
Things are pretty damn great NOW.
I'm in probably the best shape of my life, and I feel like I look pretty awesome, even if those kick-arse muscles still have a pretty thick insulative fat layer on top of all of them.
People who know me DO look at me and see an athlete, and frankly, to toot my own horn a little, so do people who don't know me when they see me kicking said arse in the gym.

I don't WANT to become a whole different person.
I don't want "thin" or "healthy" Lulu to be someone I don't recognize.
I don't think that being smaller is going to solve any of my problems (though I do think it will help a lot with persistent knee pain), I don't think it's going to make the people that matter to me look at me any differently, and, most importantly:

I KNOW it's not going to make me any happier.

So yes, I am improving myself on this lifestyle change journey, and a very motivating part of that is weight loss, but I'm not becoming a new person.
I don't want to.
After a lot of formative years of kind of hating it, I've grown pretty partial to getting to be me.
All this hard work to get healthy, be in great shape, live a life that loves my body and my soul better, that's a journey TOWARD being me.
Only better.











PS
If you want to share this or any of my blogs outside of sparkpeople, I'm honored! But, please do it from my blogger page. I put some fairly personal things here on my sparkpage, and it's a little weird to think of non-sparkers reading it, but this has just the funny stuff!
www.legumelegroom.blogsp
ot.com
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANHBH 6/21/2012 5:18PM

    "Health shines." Indeed it does. I'm gonna use that as my update today. I love your writing style. It's so easy to read, and very humorous!
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KWAJPODGE 5/22/2012 11:12AM

    Thank you for sharing your insightful thoughts. I'm just getting back to working out (in week 3) and have had to remind myself that I didn't put the weight on overnight & it won't come off overnight. But I have been enjoying my walks and remembered how I do like feeling my body in motion - goodbye couch potato!!!

Keep up the great work!

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SAFETYSUE 5/4/2012 11:28PM

    SPOT ON, AS ALWAYS!!!
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MICHERU 5/4/2012 12:01PM

    keep it up! :) Sounds like you are doing great!

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BABYSTEPS84 4/10/2012 2:59AM

    emoticon

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REGSHAR 4/8/2012 10:30AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Sounds good to me even your self help talks, keep it up.

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MARYJEANSL 4/7/2012 1:04AM

  Compliment-deflecting armor...yes, I am familiar with that. ;-)

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FIT2BETHIN 4/6/2012 4:12AM

    Enjoyed your blog....your self talk sounds a lot like mine. Only I haven't been quite so kind. But you've made me think I need to step back and praise myself more for my accomplishments NOW...why wait til I'm at goal??
Good for you and your pink streaks! That's awesome! Keep on sparking!
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DESERTFLOWERG 4/2/2012 6:24PM

    emoticon

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THEIS58 4/2/2012 1:12PM

    well done!

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JULES8161 4/1/2012 8:20AM

    great blog, thanks for sharing......

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REDHOTANDBLUE 4/1/2012 12:49AM

    Kudos to you for being comfortable in your own skin! We all need to remember to love ourselves just as we are now - not just when we are thinner. It's true - we are the same person inside and being big or small will never change that. You go, girl! emoticon

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FRESHSTART20706 3/31/2012 10:31PM

    Well said! I concur!!

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CHERYLSBUTT 3/31/2012 9:10PM

    Thanks for chatting
I am smiling because I chatter like that with myself as well
Keep shining!

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CATHOLICCORGI 3/31/2012 4:00PM

    emoticon You brightened my day today! emoticon

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SMILES650 3/31/2012 3:55PM

  Excellent!

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ECHAVEZ2 3/31/2012 2:25PM

    Very well spoken! emoticon emoticon

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SHOOPETTE 3/31/2012 1:53PM

    awesome blog , as ever!

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IGSBETH 3/31/2012 1:44PM

    Way to go!

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KANOE10 3/31/2012 12:57PM

    Cheers on the new you andf turning inot an althlete!
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LOVINGMYSELF101 3/31/2012 12:10PM

    My sentiments exactly! CHEERS to YOU TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are doing it!!!!

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BLOOMING52 3/31/2012 9:27AM

    emoticon

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LINKYSD 3/31/2012 7:48AM

    You made my day. Thanks!

Barb in SD

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GAELA-I-CAN 3/31/2012 3:03AM

    Very funny, and entertaining! emoticon

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2RUTHIE 3/31/2012 12:55AM

    Good thoughts!

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SHAMROCKY2K 3/30/2012 10:49PM

    Great Blog.. love the artwork.. and your positive attitide!

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TIFFY0906 3/30/2012 8:50PM

    As always great blog - emoticon

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ME40ME 3/30/2012 8:38PM

    Loving it! Very empowering...

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RUTGERSM0M 3/30/2012 6:41PM

    emoticon

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2ABBYNORMAL 3/30/2012 5:51PM

    Cool blog- great pic images to go with your story
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ERINSPGOM 3/30/2012 2:29PM

    Oh thankyouthankyouthankyou for sharing your blog and your personality. =D Loved it! emoticon emoticon

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BMCKEOW1 3/30/2012 1:06PM

    Way to go and good for you. I'm with you, I don't need to create a whole new me. The old me is pretty cool, but I'm letting some of the bad things go. The never getting off the couch, the over eating. No being thin won't make me any better of a person but it will help me keep being the good person I am now

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 3/30/2012 12:47PM

    Yay! Yes you are definitely GLOWING in that pic and it deserves all that praise and more!

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ANIMAL_L0VER 3/30/2012 12:12PM

    Very cool. And very true.

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SUPERSYLPH 3/30/2012 11:30AM

    WooHoo for loving yourself the way you are! GO US!

Comment edited on: 3/30/2012 11:30:34 AM

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ELAINE1155 3/30/2012 10:14AM

    emoticon

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BSEANACAIN 3/30/2012 10:01AM

    nice

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TONYVAND1 3/30/2012 9:18AM

  Thank for sharing very creative blog

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GODDREAMDIVA1 3/30/2012 8:13AM

    emoticon

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GRAMPIAN 3/30/2012 7:11AM

  Enjoyed this. emoticon

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SWEETSOUNDS11 3/30/2012 5:52AM

    This world needs more self-conscious-armor-of-compliment-
refusal piercing bullets!
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LOVEREDDESERT 3/30/2012 12:26AM

    Good for you! Loved this post!
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FRIENDOFBACH 3/29/2012 11:47PM

  Thanks! Great!
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FRANCES-AGAPE 3/29/2012 11:45PM

    emoticon
emoticon

Yes, we need to treat ourselves nice -
like we do our best friends

BLESSINGS !

Comment edited on: 3/29/2012 11:46:54 PM

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LINDABENEDICT 3/29/2012 11:05PM

    emoticon

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MARANATHA32 3/29/2012 11:01PM

    Very creative with the art work and entertaining

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LVMAMAW 3/29/2012 10:23PM

    emoticon emoticon

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LREIGLE 3/29/2012 9:43PM

    Great blog, thanks for sharing! Love the pictures!

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ARTJAC 3/29/2012 9:31PM

    emoticon

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SUNNYSIDE20 3/29/2012 9:10PM

    Adorable! emoticon

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