Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Ok this is my problem. It seems that when ever I do something for myself, such as lose a few pounds, or join a challenge like this stress busters one, I end up sabotaging myself. I did pretty well last week, joined the challenge because there has - and continues to be - a lot of emotions pouring through this house, then ruined it by taking two days off.
What makes it worse is that Monday is the regular gym day, 30minutes with the personal trainer and at least 20 minutes doing cardio. Yet I was so disgusted with myself that I didn't even bother to log it. So not only did I fall off the food wagon and let it run me over, but I didn't keep track of the good that I did manage to do.
So my question: WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS TO MYSELF? AND WHEN WILL I EVER LEARN FROM PAST MISTAKES? Many times in the past, when I have hit this mental block, I have quit whichever program I was on, figuring I shouldn't pay for advice I'm not using. So I do know that the fact that Sparkpeople is free will keep me coming back, at least for a while. But the whole feeling that I could be much further along if I'd just stick to the rules more is like living under a black cloud.