.... ME!! lol! but seriously...
SO.... it was me b'day yesterday (you - oh happy birthday! me - thanks!! that means a lot! you - oh it's nothing, for you?! me - awww... that's so sweet, I'm so lucky to have friends like you :) you - well it's easy to be such a good friend to such a wonderful person! me- omg, you're gonna make me blush! you are too kind! you- speaking of blush that's a great color on you! me - ok, now just stop, you are being silly! you- oh... you're right! the both of us- HA HA HA HA!)
sorry about that....
anyway I decided to take a little break from my 'diet' yesterday b/c i knew i wasn't going to be 'good.' funny how that worked out. In the past i would gorge myself b/c that's what you can do at an all you can eat steak house, right? Apparently I learned that if i do that, I can't enjoy the rest of my night. So Friday night when about 20 of my friends & i were enjoying the Chursacaria Rodizo (Brazilian steakhouse that i TOTALLY spelled wrong) i was selective in what meats to enjoy & I didn't eat it everything on my plate. I DID fill up on those yummy veggies at the salad bar & even tho it was all you can eat STEAK.... i enjoyed my meal :) it was the company that made it awesome, not the food & while the dinner was good... i left there feeling a LOT better than i thought. i have to say, i was proud of myself.
so yesterday? lunch was ok, the food was decent, i ate some, then brought most of it home. it was the perfect size lunch :)
dinner? Italian restaurants serve WAY too much but i also brought that home.
selections? well lunch was filet tips w/ veggies (mushrooms, sun dried tomatoes, artichoke hearst & potatoes. didn't eat the potatoes)
dinner was lobster ravioli in cream sauce. yum. but i only had 3. later tonight for dinner, i will have the other 3 :)
so, the selections weren't the best BUT i kept the portions smaller, so I can see i am making some head way. which leads me to.... my shout out to SDJ
(I seriously should get paid for this....)
John sent me a link to his blog on starting over. or maybe NOT starting over. He made some good points about what we learned along our journey & it got me thinking, by george, he's right. damn it.
so of course I got thinking... I guess in some ways I am not starting over, i am just picking back up again b/c I have all the knowledge I learned along the way. Sadly, what i don't have this time is the motivation. For this i blame my dear boy friend
he still loves this fat a$$ of mine. I think we will have to talk about this...
Well, he DOES still love me but he doesn't really motivate me... what i mean by that is (insert stupid excuse here....) my weight is not his problem. My weight is MY problem & my lack of motivation comes from KNOWING that I am loved even though I don't love myself. this needs to change. I'm not saying that I am down on myself, NO, not by any means, i'm WAY too obnoxious for that, PLEASE. but I have a reason to be lazy.
So yesterday I celebrated 37 years of life & it got me thinking. It took me a LONG time to find an AMAZING man who treats me better than most PEOPLE have treated me for a good portion of my life. (high school was HELL). He may love me w/ the love handles & a little giggle BUT, i don't love myself like this. I owe it to him... to ME to do something about it.
so i did :)
I went to the gym today. no class, no one saying, hey, we really need to go (I lined up a few gym buddies around my office). just me. my belated birthday present..
oh btw... mahalo SparkPeople for that awesome mobil app to log my food AND fitness. You rock!