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When Insults Had Class

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd poison your tea."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
GRANDMA624 3/30/2012 8:57AM

  So funny. I agree with Forrest Tucker. Nature has not been good to me. emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 3/30/2012 8:06AM

    It does seem the art of using the English language is lost.

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MRSVK11 3/28/2012 6:14PM

    Loved it!

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NAYPOOIE 3/28/2012 12:03PM


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SKINNYPOWELL1 3/28/2012 11:36AM

    These are definitely "classy", cute blog.

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MI-ELLKAYBEE 3/28/2012 11:19AM


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BEATLETOT 3/28/2012 3:53AM

    This was lovely. I was glad to see Oscar Wilde included in the list. It makes me think I must read more classical literature, to remember a time when people spoke so much better! Thanks for sharing!

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EXOTEC 3/27/2012 10:24PM

    LOVE things like this! I had /have? a book somewhere of insults penned by Shakespeare. Priceless. Our language and our mental skills have deteriorated so .... it's a shame!

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TIMOTHYNOHE 3/27/2012 10:02PM

    What none by Grouchy? He was a master at this sort of thing.

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SUEJENN 3/27/2012 9:55PM

    I love these. You are right. These people took the time to use some intelligence and wit. A lot more interesting than the four letter words.

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GAL7288 3/27/2012 9:49PM

    They were very hilarious, its a shame people do not speak this way, now a days I have tp ask if they can repeat what was said in normal english, lol.thanks for posting, I was laughing by myself all along!

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