Monday, March 26, 2012
Just got back from the most BRUTAL workout I've ever endured. It wasn't even that intense...just another day of C25K, nothing new even. But, for some reason, I was literally ready to quit and turn around and go home less than 5 minutes in. My runner friend, Kimberly, calls it "lead legs". Not the kind of pain associated with injury but just like she describes it...feels like it takes everything in you to lift one leg and put it in front of the other. I have never experienced this before and I was shocked that it was happening to me when I've been doing SO well with my C25K workouts! But I was extra stiff today even before I went out...I should have expected some resistance from my body, I guess.
At any rate, I'm not kidding...I was DONE after about 3 minutes. Here is my inner dialogue. Let's call the characters RIGHT NOW ME (RNM) and FUTURE ME (FM), for clarity's sake.
RNM: Oh my God, this hurts. I can't do this.
FM: Yes, you can. Just loosen up and it'll be fine. You'll feel great afterwards!
RNM: OK, but I don't know about this. What if I injure myself?
FM: Just take it easy and don't try to do anything stupid. Don't push it...but don't wuss out either. Be smart.
RNM: (About 7 minutes later) This still doesn't feel good like it usually does. I HATE this!!!
FM: Yeah, but you're almost halfway already. Just keep going. If you quit THIS workout...you know you will never do another. It's kind of a rubber-meets-road scenario here. Are you going to push through this or are you going to quit...AGAIN? Do you want to be this way forever?
RNM: I can't quit. I won't quit. Besides, Robert (ON2VICTORY - one of my biggest inspirations on SP) says that every workout is a chance to prove to myself that I can do this. And I CAN do this!
FM: Yeah. Remember Robert? Who lost 30 - 40 lbs in the very beginning (and has now lost 100 lbs!) JUST by walking? How much do you think it hurt him to walk when he was 385 lbs? And did he ever give up???
RNM: NO! MAKE IT HAPPEN!
FM: Make it happen!
RNM: Hey, I only have one more interval and then I'm done. I still don't feel better but I feel amazing that I'm pushing through this pain and doing this!
Complete honesty? I could not feel my feet by the end, you guys. And the moment I set foot on my front porch, I sobbed from relief. I don't feel that I got the "best workout ever" today. I don't even feel like I got a great cardio workout at all. And I don't have that crazy awesome endorphin high. My body isn't throbbing with energy.
But I did it. And it's done for today. And I'm proud of myself. And that's going to have to be enough for now.