Monday, March 26, 2012
I have been on such a rollercoaster lately! I get control of my eating and then I bomb. I feel room in my clothes and then I can't seem to find any room in my clothes. I find motivation during the day to exercise and then when I get home to do it I find a thousand excuses not to follow through...I've had moments where I just want to scream!!!
The stress has also been bouncing up and down. I've resigned myself to the fact that pregnancy is out of my hands and I have done all that I can do at this point. I have to leave it alone and let God. I'm also facing, for the first time, job uncertainty. I was hired on as a new teacher last year at my dream school. I teach first grade and love it! I know I have found my sweet spot and that God has put me here for a reason. I am trying so hard to hold on to hope and His goodness and continuous rumors fly about job cuts...and since I'm at the bottom, I'd be one of the first to go. I am blessed to have an amazing superintendant and a principal that will fight for me and do all they can to keep me. I just hope it is enough.
I'm also preparing to move into another transition. My husband will be starting a full time firefighting position in April. While I'm thrilled that he is finally living his dream, I can't help but worry some about him and the (major) financial cut we'll be taking for this to happen. God has never disappointed or forsaken and I fight daily to put my trust in Him...which is so silly knowing He will take care of everything. Human nature is a wretched thing sometimes...
I'm working on April-May goals. My January-March goals have not come to fruition as much as I had hoped so I am really trying to get my head on straight.