Sunday, March 25, 2012
Yesterday I was in downtown. It will probably be the second to last time I will be downtown, if not the last time. My friend and I were wandering around. Their are a lot of nice little shops around there. I'm not a big shopping person, however, so I did not shop there at all while living here. But the day was cloudy with some drizzling rain, and the walk wasn't bad.
We stopped in a nice store which had handmade beaded keychains. Everything in that store were handmade. They had real chopsticks, scarves, dresses, wooden boxes, necklaces, earings, hats, etc... The keychains caught my eye. I have a keychain currently on my key set from africa, but it is slowly becoming more and more worn. With my move, I want something new, something to symbolize something...
I have this thing. There are items that I have obtained at a particlar time that I use as symbols of other things. I have african bracelets that I wear when I attend a new church for the first time. Attending a new church is often intimidating for I don't always know where to go, if anyone will speak to me, where to park, what to do, if it will be similar, if there are differences, if I will agree with it, if it's a place... The bracelets remind me, I have attended church in africa, God is everywhere, it will be fine. I have a spoon ring that's from my mother that I wear on certain times. I have a hat that is important to me, a couple of books, a few nick-nacks... One of the ones I always have on me is my left ear piercing. It's something I chose to do by myself, for myself, because of myself - not others, and also on my own, randomly. It wasn't a sign of rebellion or even to be unquie, or cool, or whatever, it was my "I can do things.".
Anyway. My credit card image will be changing in the next few days as a sign of my new life. It's small, but it's a way to help the transition. I bought a few new clothes (another way to transition). I have a few new furnature items and I gave away a number of items as well. But now I have a keychain.
I was torn between the beaded dragonfly keychain and the beaded blue Asian symbol keychain. I don't know asian symbols/letters so I didn't know what it meant. I asked and the japanese store owner in little english stated "prayer", "Om". This is what I got. My job is going to be stressful, crazy, and frustrating. Anything that is a reminder to pray, meditate, and just breathe is something that speaks to me. I should maybe say, Om, is not in my religion. Om is often used in a mantra, prayer, meditation, and a name for God - but it is not my religion. To me there is one God. However I am reminded of God, I am reminded of God, however I pray, I pray. What I like about this though - is that it's personalized to me. It's a God & I thing.
So now I have my keychain, my reminder to take a breath, pray, and have faith. I think this is the last thing I needed to be prepared for moving from one side of the country. Now all that is left is to clean up the last of the kitchen, have the going away lunch & dinner, and then look at an empty apartment one last time before hopping on a plane.
Next week won't be about losing weight anymore. We are back to the college mindset of just learning, surviving, and just trying to stay healthy (mind & body) despite it all.
Life changes, sometime we get to prepare, and sometimes we don't. Both can be very-very hard.