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    REDHEADMOM2U   83,356
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What to say?

Sunday, March 25, 2012

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I've wanted to write this blog a half dozen...a dozen times over the last month or so. Most days I wake up and think about it.

You know the post: I've fallen but I'm back!

Except

I keep falling.

Most of the bad habits that caused me to overeat are back. I've stopped doing the things (they feel impossible...walk?...not eat everything I want....blog??....eat healthy?? etc) that helped me lose over 100 pounds.

I've regained to the point I have had to buy bigger clothes. My thighs touch again. My heart pounds. My feet are a bit swollen. I have an extra chin. Worse, the look in peoples faces...

I'm eating multiple meals again, multiple servings. Eating fast food (a LOT) and encouraging others to overeat and keep me company.

gosh, I've been on break and I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK and see the look....ugh

About a month ago, I recognized that I am eating to punish myself but I don't know why I'm feeling like I need to punish?

I also recognized that I could REFRAME my weight gain in a face saving motto...that my weight loss had slowed and by taking a breather and regaining some (SOME!) weight, I was making losing the last 100 pounds easier.

This thought makes me happy. That I'm falling but I can grab on to the edges and shimmy my way back up.

I'm writing this as the first thing this morning. I have NO IDEA (people who say "just don't eat" to lose weight have NO IDEA how powerful food is) if today is my new day, my new day 1.

I hope so. I'm here.

And how are you, my spark friends?
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SCRAPPER1124 4/22/2012 3:49AM

    I know how you feel struggling back after a few "lost" months. But I am trying to look at it as at least we're back. It's better than the alternative of never trying again.

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SERENEART 4/21/2012 6:38PM

    Welcome back! Sometimes we slip. Sometimes we slip a little other times, its a full backslide. Even though, things are kind of off track, remember you are farther than when you first started. I know how back sliding can feel so discouraging...Somedays I feel that more than others...but if I look at the big picture or look at it like I'm on spiral staircase looking down...I'm always farther than where I was. It may not be where I want it to be...but it is where I am at the moment.

Just take it slow, even baby steps. You will get there!

*hugs*

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DEEGIRL50 4/1/2012 12:26PM

    I hope you've found that hand hold or your foot landed on a solid rock. Hope is not lost. You can make a healthy You Turn! I'll be watching to see your beautiful red head poking out of the cave you fell into!
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RSANDBERG 3/31/2012 12:07PM

    Hey, I am so happy to see that you are back and reaching out. We are here to help brush you off, and get you back on track. It is not that you do not know what to do-you do. Look at all that you have accomplished before. Now it is time to take a deep breath, pull out all the weapons that are in your arsenal and begin again. No time to look back in regret, just start right now-this very moment. If you need to purge the cabinets, fridge, hidden stash-go for it. It will feel so great if you put it in the outside trash can and remove it from sight. Then, pull out your measuring tools, spoons, scales, etc and keep those in plain view. Then go to the grocery store and get some beautiful fresh foods-yummy fruits, delish veggies and lean meats. Stock your pantry with nutritious choices that will feed you well. Get your water cup out and begin to put some of these things in place. It will make you feel strong and encourage you. This is what you are after right now-go for it with gusto! Look back at old trackers and see what you ate before and get some "new ideas" from that, look at your fitness trackers and be encouraged and tell yourself that you will regain your health. You really can do this today and if you give yourself the gift of one healthy day, it will give you sweet encouragement and inspiration.
Looking forward to staying in touch.
Becky

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MENNOLY 3/28/2012 6:45AM

    Perhaps you need to go back to the beginning and restart the program. That might reconnect you to the exhilaration you felt when those pounds started to just melt off, Don't forget your old stand-bys to deal with cravings. Mine are sugarless gum and green tea. Give yourself permission to have a day off, but the next day you are back on track that will help deal with the feeling of deprivation. If fast food is your downfall, limit it to your day off. Otherwise have your fast food be a healthy sandwich from Subway. emoticon emoticon

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REDHEADMOM2U 3/27/2012 7:50PM

    Thank you all very much! I hope you all have experienced the....validation...joy...feeling of not being alone in a response to one of your thoughts.

I really appreciate it!

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TOPS-TORTOISE 3/26/2012 12:12PM

    Writing this blog is your first step in putting on the brakes and turning things around. Funny how those old eating habits just creep back in like that. You work so hard to develop healthier eating habits, but the old ones are always there, just below the surface, waiting to come back. Seems that if you let your guard down just a little bit the old habits move in and take over.

Push the bad habits back out. Think about the amazing progress that you've already made and hold onto that. Think about how much better you felt physically and mentally when you lost 100 pounds. Think about how many sizes you've lost already. Think about how hard you've worked toward your goal. You had the motivation and the momentum going to lose 100 pounds, you can find it again. Hang in there. Take it one day, or one meal at a time when you need to.

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FITNESSMONSTER8 3/26/2012 12:00PM

    I have been where you are. Just take it one day at a time, and little by little you will get there. emoticon emoticon

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IRISHBEANERGAL 3/26/2012 1:46AM

    hmmm... what to say? How about...

I'm here.

I haven't walked away.

I'm struggling.

Support needed.

- the people on this website are amazing. And they 'get' it - because they've lived it too.

So, welcome back - even though you never left! You just took a detour for awhile.

~Irish

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ANNECEK 3/25/2012 9:34PM

    I know the feeling, just treading water. It has taken me a month to lose a pound. Momentum has failed. I haven't given up but I have lost my "militant" edge.

Key words to live by, forgiveness. Moving through this time will make you stronger. Persistence to make the right choices. Start at the beginning, one healthy habit a day, then a week. Work on your streaks.

I need to take my own advice. I'm at 115 pounds lost and I need to lose 48 pounds. Maybe I need to start another time line. We will see.

Hope you get your mojo back. I look forward to seeing you on the boards.

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CALIKIKI 3/25/2012 9:07PM

    I think everyone with a goal in life has the same experience at one time or another.

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ADAM2298 3/25/2012 8:56PM

    So what, with bad habits! We all have fallen somewhere along the line. But you're back! One step at a time. Don't try to pick up where you left off. Start all over, one small step at a time. If it were easy, everyone in the world would be at their perfect best. But I don't see any of those people.
Look at all of the SparkPeople coming to help you with words of encouragement.So baby girl, pick yourself up and start off slow and stay in touch with your Spark buddies. We know what you are going through and we have been there ourselves. We have not given up on you, neither should you.

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SERENEART 3/25/2012 8:18PM

    emoticon Just keep trying! Every little bit counts.

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IMIN2GENES 3/25/2012 7:36PM

    Your taking a solid first step! Just remember, you've got us here to support and cheer you on your way. You CAN do it!
Chris
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THETURTLEBEAR 3/25/2012 7:19PM

    emoticon

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MTULLY 3/25/2012 3:52PM

    The important thing is that you are back and ready to hit the reset button. We have all had our fair share of missteps, but it is best to just learn from them and move on. Just don't give up!!! I think it helps to focus on reinstating one good habit at a time. You can do this!!!

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RUNNERRACHEL 3/25/2012 3:46PM

    Don't beat yourself up. Sometimes we have to hit the reset button and start with small, doable goals. Start small. You are not new at this but sometimes we have to renew our goals, remind ourselves of why we are here. I am constantly reassessing. Sometimes, I feel so unmotivated to work out. I was doing great for the first 2 months of this year and then March I got so lazy...but I am setting goals for April. Let's not be angry at ourselves for slowing down but look at this as a journey with many twists, turns, and sometimes we are doing great and it feels so easy and sometimes it's difficult just to do the basic things to stay on track. I know how it feels.

let's have a great day today. Remember, take it one day at a time. emoticon

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PATTIE441 3/25/2012 3:14PM

    Yes, baby steps, but you made the first one! Way to go!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ROOTIHAUSMAN 3/25/2012 11:05AM

    Take one day at a time. I have gain a few back too. I have increased my exercise by doing boot camp and am gaining muscle but not losing weight. I know I have to measure everything again in order to make sure to lose those last seven pounds. I think you CAN do it by taking one day at a time and start small. A walk around your neighborhood or at work and stay away from fast food. It is so yucky for your beautiful body. I know that is easier said than done but I think today is the first day of the rest of your life so cherish each day and do your best so that you can live your life to the fullest each day! emoticon

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CARILOUIE 3/25/2012 9:12AM

    This is a wonderful first step.

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