Sunday, March 25, 2012
I've wanted to write this blog a half dozen...a dozen times over the last month or so. Most days I wake up and think about it.
You know the post: I've fallen but I'm back!
I keep falling.
Most of the bad habits that caused me to overeat are back. I've stopped doing the things (they feel impossible...walk?...not eat everything I want....blog??....eat healthy?? etc) that helped me lose over 100 pounds.
I've regained to the point I have had to buy bigger clothes. My thighs touch again. My heart pounds. My feet are a bit swollen. I have an extra chin. Worse, the look in peoples faces...
I'm eating multiple meals again, multiple servings. Eating fast food (a LOT) and encouraging others to overeat and keep me company.
gosh, I've been on break and I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK and see the look....ugh
About a month ago, I recognized that I am eating to punish myself but I don't know why I'm feeling like I need to punish?
I also recognized that I could REFRAME my weight gain in a face saving motto...that my weight loss had slowed and by taking a breather and regaining some (SOME!) weight, I was making losing the last 100 pounds easier.
This thought makes me happy. That I'm falling but I can grab on to the edges and shimmy my way back up.
I'm writing this as the first thing this morning. I have NO IDEA (people who say "just don't eat" to lose weight have NO IDEA how powerful food is) if today is my new day, my new day 1.
I hope so. I'm here.
And how are you, my spark friends?