Friday, March 23, 2012
Over 100 lbs ago, I lived to eat. Forking up mountains of food seemed like the greatest pleasure to me. However, I never felt beautiful afterwards. It was guilt, disgust, and hopelessness that followed my eating. Then, I had Gastric Bypass surgery and couldn't eat. I was angry at first, because I had no choice but to limit my eating. Now that I have lost all of this weight I feel beautiful all of the time. When I put on that dress I have had for years, but couldn't wear until now, or button up that pink jacket that I just love but had to keep open because I was too big. I realize what a gift I have been given. Probably because I remember how it was, I cherish the gift now. I eat lots of food now--vegetables, fruits, whole grains, etc. I eat things now that nourish and strengthen my body, and after eating, I feel beautiful. When I dance, swim or walk I enjoy and appreciate the feeling of fitness and I feel beautiful. Last year before my surgery, I would have never believed I could feel beautiful again, but now I know that feeling beautiful is entirely up to me, and I choose to feel beautiful all of the time. I know it is a struggle, it is for me, too, even with a much smaller stomach. However, it is worth it. So, I am wishing you joy, grace, and beauty today.