Thursday, March 22, 2012
The letter I wish I could give my former self.
Dear Elicia at 235 Pounds,
Hello! Its just me from the future letting you know how freaking awesome you are. You are so gorgeous and strong. I wish you could see it. Someday you will look back and realize how awesome you really are. Try to see it now. God has blessed you in so many ways.
First of all, I want to let you know how proud I am of you. You are so brave and courageous for having the willingness to start this long journey. Each day you will get stronger and learn more things about yourself. You will learn to control your eating and will enjoy the healthy lifestyle changes you have made. I know its hard but the end result is so worth it.
Your efforts will create incredible results. Most people won't even recognize you. Your doctors jaw will hit the ground when you tell him your weight loss story. People will be inspired by you. Yes, YOU, will be an inspiration to many! You know those motivational SparkPages that you read to keep yourself going? YOU will soon be listed among those who motivated you! You will be pulled aside by colleagues and friends to ask HOW you did it. YOU will lose 95 pounds and someday soon fit into size 4 jeans. YOU! You will do all of this by simply making better choices. Keep going!
Your blood pressure will drop to 90/60 instead of 115/75. Your heart rate will drop from 100bpm to 60bpm! You will be able to walk up many flights of stairs without even thinking about it! You will have so much energy that you don't even know what to do with! You will start craving apples (I know, freaking crazy!) Your doctor will tell you that you have done everything possible to ensure healthy future pregnancies. You will have ARM muscles! Oh, and try not to get discouraged about your belly. Try to think of it as a battle scar and know that having a super flat tummy is overrated anyways.
Guess what?!? You decided to start running. I know, pretty unfathomable, right? You have signed up for a 5K and can run 3 miles without stopping. It took a lot of courage to walk into that running store but everyone is very nice. Running shoes are worth every single penny! Be brave! Nate is also joining you on runs. It is actually kind of turning into a hobby (and I'm not even joking!)
Your strength throughout the grieving process has touched many people. I want to let you know that it gets easier. You will still think of Elliana daily and dream of joining her in heaven one day but these thoughts are lined with joy instead of sadness. Time really does heal wounds and God has blessed you more than you can even imagine. The healing process is long but you will soon be optimistic about trying for more babies and the hope that God will give you is incredible. Your healthy body gives you even more hope than you thought possible. Praise God and lean on Him.
This is not a diet. There is no end. This is your new lifestyle. Learn to embrace it and the journey becomes that much easier. You eventually will reach a point where you are trying to figure out how to maintain your goal weight and that day isn't too far away. Losing weight won't take away all of the struggles that come with life. There are still days when you are going to be really self-conscious but you will learn to love the good and the bad throughout this journey. The confidence you will gain throughout this journey is an incredible thing.
Keep your head held high and shine that beautiful smile. You rock and you can do this!!
Elicia at 140 pounds