From Rich Nelson's song "Garden Party" . . . ok from my distant youth! LOL
But I love that idea, because it really is impossible to please everyone, and when you TRY, you end up compromising what makes YOU happy most of the time.
I have just really been focused on how fragile life is and how difficult it is to "let go". But loss and "letting go" is part of that circle of life (thank you LION KING for that phrase!)
You look @ your kids as they grow up and you have all these plans in your head for them. College, successful career . . . you know . . . the things ALL parents want for their kids. But as things turn out, that plan might not be THEIR plan. So our job as a parent is to "let go" of OUR plans and help our kids with what THEY want in their lives. VERY hard sometimes.
As you who follow my blogs already know, my son enlisted in the Army and left for basic training on March 5th. It was very hard letting him go, but you know what, I DID. HE needed that in order to find his own way, his own path. And despite all the bumps in the road encountered during his turbulent Middle School and High School years (can you say ROLLERCOASTER RIDE?) I love him with all my heart & soul. Sometimes it hurt my Mom heart, though, because it was clear he didn't feel that love at all. **SIGH** Pretty typical of the teen years.
He has been in basics now for 2 weeks and 3 days. We have had very limited communication (totally understandable AND necessary). But the letters we've gotten from him (2 -- and I think I've read them at least a billion times -- ok maybe a billion and one
) I see so much maturity and clarity infused into his thinking. . . something sorely lacking @ times when he lived here. Again . . . pretty standard for a teen. It brings me to
The letter we received from him yesterday is a prime example. He indicated that it is tough but he's determined to honor this committment, even though it's really tough. I'll share some of his comments:
"I already feel like I'm changing. I want to thank you for raising me the way you did. I know it was difficult, but without you guys, I don't know what I would've done. " From MY SON!
"I'm looking forward to seeing you all (at graduation)." Wow! Again, MY SON said this.
"I miss you guys and love you guys much. They say home is where there is a roof. They say home is where people are, but home is the feeling that you can't feel from anyone else. I miss home . . . " OMG (ok, 'scuse me . . . going to get my millionth box of kleenex).
Back again. Never in a million years would I have anticipated John saying ANY of these things to us. NEVER. He was always an envelope pusher, tough guy, never show emotions. Seems like he's seeing it's not all bad to FEEL things.
HUGE lesson. I see this in my own life. When I started this journey, I ATE my feelings away. What the heck . . . facing emotions HURTS sometimes. but I've learned that in the long run, dealing with the emotions is HEALTHY. It allows us to move on. Seeing this is my 19 yr. old son (20 in August) totally amazes me. I don't honestly know if **I** had that kind of maturity at 19, almost 20!
So, though it's been an adjustment for all of us, it is a good thing. Change always takes so much courage and strength. And there are days when you think you don't have it in you, but you dig a little deeper and voila! Yes indeed you DO have it in you!
Thanks for reading this blog. As painful as change can be, it allows us to become who we're meant to be. That's awesome . . . totally awesome. Worry less about pleasing others and more about pleasing YOURSELF, accomplishing what YOU need to be a better, healthier, stronger person.