Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Yeah, baby. I am getting there slowly but surely.
I didn't sleep but an hour last night due to anxiety. I thought my heart was still in Peru. But then sometime by midday it finally clicked. I don't want to feel like this anymore. I want to feel good about being here in San Diego. I want to do things that make me happy to be with my family and to be in the sunshine and to enjoy this (forced) time off.
So I just decided to let it go. It doesn't mean that tomorrow I won't be sad again, but at least right now, I'm okay. I'm okay. And that feels good.
It helps immensely that I went to the Y. I rocked it today. Well, as much as a sick girl can rock it! ;0)
I ran 1.85 miles, worked out my arms and back on the weight machines, and then biked a 5k. May not have been my best time or longest workout but the important thing is that I got out of the house and did something with myself that made me feel good about me. ME. ME. ME. ME.
Tomorrow I will have more bloodwork taken to determine what else is going on with me. I had my liver doc fax over my latest lab results and realized they were actually worse than a month ago when I was in Lima. This is why I have them faxed--the doctor doesn't tell me specifics, so I have to see for myself. Well, thank goodness for my naturopath who is on the case!
I think I'm gonna be okay, my friends. I won't lie to you. It's a struggle. Every day, and sometimes every hour, it's a real struggle to make it. But in the end, I always do make it.
So I gotta keep on keeping on!
Just do it!