Monday, March 19, 2012
I was writing on a message board the other night and I quickly wrote that I didn't want to find that my higher power is food. Food, how I have given it so much power! I have let it comfort me, I have let it entertain me while I am bored instead of doing something so I am not bored. I am not a child, I am no longer a young woman, I will be 60 years old in two weeks and don't want to celebrate it! LOL
Each birthday I have been very grateful for because I have been ill most of my life and each birthday was a gift. I never thought I'd live to be 60 and regardless of age and health, I've always had a youthful attitude. It didn't hurt that I've always looked much younger than I was. Those "you can't be that old" comments don't come often anymore. Age is creeping up and I'm looking it. BUT, finally old age wisdom has smacked me in the face.
I looked at a photo with my grandchildren and there was this fat faced old woman. I tried not to look at my body, but my face! Oh my! I finally have decided that I deserve to be as healthy as I can be. What I eat I can control. My illnesses I can't control, so when I realized that all of these years when I could control my food, I found it was controlling me. I invited it in my mouth to hover for awhile. I enjoyed and savored each taste. I let my higher power be food! Food didn't do anything to me, I did it. The food was just there in the store. It didn't jump in my wagon or fall into my mouth. For all of these years of feeling out of control, I didn't control the main thing I could.
Today was a hungry day and I felt hungry even when I thought I shouldn't, but I gave the hunger pangs time to find if I was really hungry or was I bored or sad or whatever. Was I really thirsty? That was doubtful as I always have a beverage next to me. I have to work 1
on drinking more plain water, but now I drink mostly iced tea made with half and half Crystal Lite Iced Tea and Lemonade. I don't want artificial sweeteners in my becoming healthy body, but it's so easy to make and tastes so good! I bought some lemons last week to make myself a container of iced water with lemon slices, but yesterday I tossed the whole bag. They had gone bad and not a one was touched. I will try again. I am a big girl now! I've got to put on my big girl panties and show this body and brain that I am in control! Now to convince that devil that sits on my shoulder asking for my yummy iced tea to get the heck off and let me drink good ole water.
I hope tomorrow I go to the grocery store and buy some lemons and maybe some limes and just make it up and drink it! I'll let you know if I managed to convert to water before I turn the big, old 60! Maybe *I'll go to the store and buy a pretty decanter that will make my water look pretty and yummy and refreshing. That sounds like a plan! I hope I just do it!
Good luck me! You, my self, my friend, my own, take care of yourself (myself) and give your/myself a better chance of losing weight and getting in shape! Let the "before age 60" years be the end to putting junk or unhealthy things in my bod. I can do it, I can, I can
I'll report back and tell you if I do! C'mon Higher Power, show me the way! I've kicked food out of your place, please help me! Please?