Sunday, March 18, 2012
I am feeling a little better today.
We spent the last two days pretty much entirely outside, walking, hiking, climbing, even just sitting and chatting/reading. Lots of time with the puppy, with my husband, and even with my mom.
I think sometimes I just feel so alone in dealing with everything, and I reach out into the great abyss of the internet to try to find solace and comfort and connection. Sometimes it helps. Sometimes it doesn't.
I'm trying to re-vamp my approach to eating and exercising. I think I've just been trying to hard at all the wrong things, and I end up frustrated and miserable.
I'm going to focus on things that make me feel good. Running in the sunshine makes me feel good. A good climb makes me feel good. Some quiet, soothing yoga makes me feel good. Healthy, fresh foods like smoothies, whole grains, fruits, and fresh veggies make me feel good - like I'm doing something good for myself.
I'm going to avoid things that make me feel down or sad or guilty. A fresh, home-baked cookie that I made myself doesn't make me feel bad, especially when the rest are shared with friends, but a box of oreos or a processed sugar-filled snack or piles and piles of fatty, greasy pizza and take-out all make me feel bad. Fresh mozzarella on a home-baked whole wheat pizza crust don't make me feel bad. Eating half of a dominos pizza in one sitting does.
I do things that make me feel like crap afterwards because in the moment, they feel like pleasure. Cheesy fries, huge steaks, pizza, ice cream, cake... it gives me pleasure in the moment, but later I feel terrible, both mentally and physically. So, I'm going to focus on the things that make me feel good, and try to avoid the things I know make me feel crappy afterwards.
Maybe if I can shift my thinking it will help me shift my eating, and if I can do that, then maybe I really will feel better, have more energy, have fewer energy crashes, and be more motivated to get up and out and live my life.
I don't know. It's a theory. I'm giving it a try. We'll see what happens.