Friday, March 16, 2012
So, my daughter is leaving tomorrow to move to Las Vegas. We have relatives there so she won't be homeless or friendless, but it's still a long way from home! She's finished with college and I know she just wants to get out and be on her own. I was 23 once, too, so I do understand the desire to get out from under Mom's roof and rules, I just wish she had some sort of plan, other than "I'll find a job somewhere after I get there." ~sigh~ I do wish her all the best, all kinds of personal success and happiness in whatever she does, I am so proud of her for all she has accomplished, but yeah, as someone who is always planning 3 days ahead, I SO wish she had more of a plan!
I have been trying not to think about it, but today it finally hit home. So what did I do? Made a big bowl of rotini & cheddar, yum! Enough for leftovers tomorrow, too! I am not an emotional eater, but when I get upset or feel down, I tend not to care much about what I'm eating. It seems like so little importance in the face of something so major as my daughter leaving home, maybe for the last time! I'm way more worried about her than I am what the scale is going to say on Monday morning!
So, back to the question......how do I cope with this impending lifestyle change? In the past I've coped with stressors like this by just eating quick and easy comfort foods, food prep for dummies, b/c I have so much on my mind, I don't want to think about recipes, eating plans, calorie counting, fat grams, etc! I've already done the damage for today, there's no taking that back. But I have spent the past 8 months changing bad habits and losing weight that I cannot sabotage this effort when I feel down. I cannot do that to myself again! I gained 30 pounds in a little over 6 months when my Mother was diagnosed with cancer 3 years ago and passed on. That can't happen again, I ~must~ do something else to cope.
For today, I am giving myself permission to eat the rest of the pasta, I am not going to weigh in again until Monday, no matter what! I am going to get up tomorrow and take my beloved daughter to the airport and say good bye to her. I am going to tell her I love her and I wish her all the best, of course I do! But I am not going to feel sorry for myself while doing it. Then I am going to come home, give my dog a big hug and thank my lucky stars for all the good things in my life. I am going to go to Zumba class and eat properly then go celebrate St. Patrick's Day with my friends. I just have to psyche myself up to make tomorrow a happy day and push the sadness away.
So that's my coping plan, it's the best I can do. This time I will cope with an unhappy event without completely abandoning my health and weight loss goals, I can't fall into that trap again!