Friday, March 16, 2012
I am in the middle of a fiery, bloody battle.
It's the battle to stay steady when the ground beneath me is wavering, tilting, shifting in all directions. I can hardly keep up.
9 months ago I took that long walk across the stage. I just graduate from college with my bachelor's degree in biology. My eyes searched through the masses of people sitting in the gigantic Florida State University auditorium, and found my parents' beaming faces, my best friends cheering me on as they too jumped up with their caps in hand holding their own certificates, my big overprotective brother hiding his pride and cheering me on with my cousing, and my boyfriend grinning at me from the crowd.
8 months ago I answered the telephone ring that changed my life forever. One of my top 1- proudest moments: receiving my acceptance call to attend the Florida State University College of Medicine. My dream, the one I once thought was absolutely impossible, has been achieved. It was a feat of pure passion, dedication, and joy. I am so thrilled to start learning about becoming a Doctor.
7 months ago I got restless. I knew that it was time to cross another goal off of my Bucket List: travelling abroad for a long period of time, on my own. So I applied to teach for 6 months in another country. I didn't think anyone would take me. I'm not a teacher. I didn't have any experience. I was only 21 years old, a fresh young student headed for a medical career.
6 months ago I received an invitation to teach 7 year olds in Thailand the English language.
5 months ago I sat on a 15-hour mosquito-infested, jam-packed bus ride to escape the flooding in Bangkok on my birthday. I made it to my new home in Udon Thani, Thailand and slept the first night without water (hot or cold), sheets or a pillow, and any means of getting around.
4 months ago I'd adjusted, but barely, and yet I was having the time of my life. The children made every day full of life and fun. Work wasn't work at all.
3 months ago my brother and his girlfriend visited me for our Christmas holiday. We went snorkelling in the islands and saw spiny Lionfish, swam in a bioluminescent bay (as you move, the water glows), and rode elephants through rubber plantations. I had the time of my life.
2 months ago I realized that I'd have to say good-bye. I don't like good-byes. For reasons that I can't explain, I shut everyone out of my life here, and left myself completely, and utterly alone. Why? I'm not sure. I'm not that kind of person. But I did. Maybe it was a fear of the end. Maybe it was a fear of the beginning: the home-coming, and what it would entail. I had no excuses. And the weight piled on.
1 month ago I broke up with my boyfriend. I'm not sure why, exactly, but I did. Part of me regrets it, but it's clear that our story is unfinished. I love him very much still, and he feels the same way. He still wants to go on a "date" when we get back, and I'm still going to be his date for his medical school prom. I guess I'll just have to see how this story unfolds.
Yesterday I joined the Biggest Loser Challenge, and it is indeed going to be a challenge because...
Tonight I leave on an hour-long flight to Chiang Mai, Thailand.
From there, I will be travelling on long-distance train rides throughout Thailand. I don't know exactly where this journey will take me, and I'm nervously excited to see what I learn, who I meet, and what life will bring.
A month from now, I will fly home maybe as a different person.
Today, however, I'm going to walk through that revolving door. Every door seems to lead to another door, another set of changes or challenges, another opportunity, another gift, and another hurdle to rise above.
This time, I'm doing it as a team with the Biggest Loser's Red Team.
If I can do it, I know the rest of us can, because goodness knows that it's hard to stay healthy on a vacation!
And I really want to look good in that prom dress...maybe it'll be red, just to represent ;)
Let the journey begin!