Friday, March 16, 2012
Wow, hard to believe I haven't been here or posted in almost two years.. wow... It was a year, that's for sure. Lots of changes in 2011! I'm back and mostly just to control my eating habits. If I keep track it's easier to not eat so much. I need to put the cravings behind me, mostly candy and chips. I had gotten to the point where I could put away a FAMILY SIZE bag of Lay's Salt and Vinegar chips in just a day. Wow huh!! I'd go to Walgreens and buy 3 candybars, one for each of my boys and one for myself, well, the boys never did see theirs. Sad.
I have a few health issues, the first being that I have thyroid problems, the dr. is always adjust my meds, up and down, about every three months I had a medication change. That sucks. When its too high I don't want to eat anything and when it's low I want to eat everything. I like when it's high because it's easier to lose weight. I am so very sick and tired of of the up and downs. I am also type 2 diabetic, so, I don't need the chips or the candy. I don't need the diet dr. pepper either but i guess it is the less of three evils. I have high cholesterol, wonder if the chips have anything to do with it? LOL!! I have high blood pressure but it is controlled with meds.. wow, huh? Lots of issues.
I went through a divorce last year, no big deal, we had been seperated for 15 years, the hard part was losing my health insurance. I tried to give up the medications that I could because I can't afford everything. I stopped taking my prozac and I stopped taking the Omezaprol. I figured I won't need the Omezaprol, for stomach trouble, if I stop eating so many damn chips. I am definately feeling the effects of both. I have had a constant ringing in my head since I stopped taking them, I would imagine its from stopping the prozac! Sucks to be me sometimes.
I live with and care for my mom, she is 85 years young, she is still in her right mind, she is my best friend. I spend every day with her. My boys, who are 22 and 17 are my relief workers. They help me out with my mom. I have siblings, a sister who lives 5 miles away and sees my mom every three months or so, and a brother, who lives 30 miles away and sees my mom every six months or so. They don't call, they don't visit and they definately do not help. Life goes on. Mom and I laugh about them, I know she does it to cover the "pain" she feels from them not visiting. I used to be able to leave for a couple of hours at a time but in the last couple of months my mom has been falling and I am not comfortable leaving her for any length of time. I will go to the store or to the library, but not anywhere far or for a long time. I was working a little part time job and I had to quit that.
I am glad to be back to SPARK, glad to have support and hear others' stories, to help me see that I am not alone, to give me a push I need and to inspire me to do what is best for me.