Motivation playing hide and seek.....

Thursday, March 15, 2012

I am trying desperately to get up the energy to do some exercise. Only getting a 3 hour nap after working 12 hours last night has wiped me out. I know I need to get moving, I have to get back in to shape and drop this extra weight. This is a must not only for my own health and well being but because I need to stay healthy and active to keep up with Athena.

In the year and 3 months she has been here it seems as though neither of her parents can make any significant progress in getting their lives together in order to be her parents again.
Dad has been busted for DUII and been unemployed since getting discharged from the Army due to meth addiction. Mom is off her psychiatric meds again and currently has a warrent out for her arrest for failure to appear on a DV 4 assault charge. She was supposed to appear for a 1 year follow up to report her progress on getting her psychiatric illness under control and for a review of her court ordered anger management. She never did either and has paid none of her court fees either.

Needless to say I do not expect either of them to be able to provide for her any time in the near future, though mom keeps talking baout all these grand plans to 'get her girls back". In all honesty I know she is better off by far living with us but I get very tired of the drama they cause and their complete inability to realise the damage they are doing to this sweet little girl by their continued refusal to make her a priority in their lives. I fully expect my granddaughter to be with us full time for the rest of her childhood. This means another 14 years before she graduates. This is not where I expected to be at this point in my life.

I did manage to finally post some updated pictures. Looking back at where I was before I found Sparkpeople to how I looked in some of the more recent pics (before I gained some of the weight back) should get me off my duff and in to the exercise room. The sheer exhaustion of my insane schedule is difficult to combat however. I have had about 7 hours of sleep since Tuesday at 2pm.

I need to find a job closer to home with hours that are more conducive to raising such a young child. So far everything I have found up here would end up being at about half of my current pay rate and I just can not make that work financially.

It's time for me to quit sitting here thinking of the list of "I need to do......" and just do some of it. First order of business is to get some housework done. My step daughter's 19 birthday is tomorrow and family is coming for a party. Guess I'd better get moving.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Wow. You have a lot on your plate. Don't beat yourself up for what you are not doing, b/c it sounds like you are doing a LOT already. SP is a lifestyle, as Elisa said. I find it easier when I can concentrate on one thing at a time (as far as when it comes to making changes). emoticon
    2099 days ago
    Thank you both for your supportive comments. Usually I try to stay more positive but today has been rough. I did manage to cook a healthy dinner and get the carpets cleaned before my step daughter's birthday party tomorrow. Off to get in some time on the elliptical now.
    2099 days ago
    Oh Wow! I agree with TUCKER.

    Don't burn out. Give yourself time to rest and play. Go slowly on the weight loss. Just try to eat healthy and 'move' when you can.

    Remember SP is a lifestyle.

    2099 days ago
    Well knowing is half the battle, and you sound like you have a lot on your metaphorical plate! God Bless you for all you are doing, stay strong!
    2099 days ago
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