I am NOT my fat!
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Does my weight define me?
Of course not Andrea...don't be silly. No really. Does it? Today I had an aha moment. I was reading another person's blog and it just hit me out of the blue... I AM NOT MY WEIGHT!!!
I am not my weight, just like I am not my height, or my hair color, or my eye color etc. I don't define myself by these attributes, but when it comes to weight...Why is it the opposite?
So much of what I do and think about myself stems from my current weight. I don't walk around in life thinking "well that person doesn't like me because I have brown hair! or brown eyes! That seems incredibly silly. So why do I let myself be defined by my weight? Why do I think of myself as just the fat girl. Why do I MAKE everything about my weight? Why do I not like myself because of a physical quality? And, for that matter...Why did I continue to allow myself to gain more and more weight until I was 327lbs? Was it just a simple matter of using food for comfort? Was it out of a need to control something in my life? Was it so I would have an excuse for disliking myself? Maybe. Or maybe it was just adding layers of protection from the outside world. I have a lot of questions to really think about and dig deep for the answers. Maybe it's a combination of all these reasons. I'm not sure, but I do realize now that
I AM NOT MY FAT even though my fat is a part of me.