I don't like the new me......
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Hello SP family
It's been about 9 months since I last posted a blog on SP. Well, I am ready to birth another blog....LOL
So, at the close of 2011, I made it to a size 10/12. Yay me....yeah right.
I have gained about 45-50lbs since December 2011 and I know why.
After being a heavy/chunky/fat/big girl pretty much all my life, I didn't like the attention of being a thin girl. It was too much work.
Yes, I enjoyed being able to shop wherever I wanted. Being able to sit in a chair and not worry about it falling apart but I felt naked Without my layer of fat, I was vunerable.
My confidence level went down hill and I got so depressed. I didn't think I was pretty enough. Anytime a man would approach me to give me a compliment I felt weird.
My biggest pet peeve was when I walked down the aisle of the grocery store. If I walked pass a guy, he would turn around to look at my butt! I hated this. This new body required something I wasn't ready for.
Don't laugh but I am serious. It's like everyone expected this sex kitten to come out of me when in reality I am as shy as the kids on Little House on the Prairie. But as a "Big Girl" I'm not shy. I love to be around people, I love seeking out attention. Weird huh?? Yes, I agree!
I am seeking some therapy and hopefully, someone can explain what the heck is going on. In the meantime. I have to work to lose these 45lbs over the next 6 months.
I'll keep you posted