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    BE-THE-CHANGE   118,433
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Time to Stop Hiding


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

I put this on my front page, but I feel like I want to post here too. Sorry if you are reading it twice.

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It is time to stop hiding behind profile pictures of coffee mugs and tickers that show my graduation date.

This is my 3rd name on SparkPeople and this will be the last because I am not 'trying' anymore - I am doing. I didn't even really try the first time (01/01/2009). I lurked around and soon stopped coming. I started at 433 lbs the second time (05/29/2009) and lost more than 150 pounds, only to gain most of it back when I suffered a severe blow to my self-esteem as I knew it and just stopped caring. I have learned some things every time though. I know now that I am not just a parent or just a wife or just my job title. Just because I suffer a failure in one area of my life that doesn't make me a failure.

I have been too embarrassed about how I "failed" to post my picture or weight but no more. I am putting it all out there for all the Spark world to see. I truly believe that with your help I can get to a healthy weight and live my life rather than just being a spectator.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
SHAGADELIC 3/20/2012 9:43AM

    You are amazing. Point blank. And you're right about the whole failing thing. 1+1 does not equal 4, so how could 1 setback equal a complete failure?

The title of this blog really struck me because I was sitting at my desk just yesterday and I asked myself, "Aren't you tired of hiding?" Tired of hiding, time to stop it.

You have inspired me from the moment you first commented on one of my blogs and I looked at your profile. I'm so glad you took an interest in me, came back time and time again to support and encourage me and mostly I'm glad that you've been so successful on your own. You're someone who truly understands and you're wonderful!

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BOOMAC1961 3/18/2012 10:10PM

    Debbie, I believe in you! You can do it! Looking forward to meeting you at JASR!

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MIAMIA7 3/18/2012 10:01PM

    You can do it Debbie! You have the motivation and are ready to live a healthy life to the fullest!


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EMPRESSGAIL 3/16/2012 9:15AM

    Thank you for putting it out there Debbie, I know exactly how u feel because i feel the same way, but's this is not about me. I'm proud of you keep up the good work you can do it. we will do it together. good to have you back emoticon emoticon

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BOBBYD31 3/14/2012 10:02PM

    proud of you debbie, you can do this, i know you can because you already proved it! love the profile pic that beautiful smile makes me believe you want this. the journey is about baby steps that eventually leads to a big leap.
you can do it, believe!

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NOTGIVINGUP49 3/14/2012 9:13PM

    Glad you are not hiding anymore. This will given other SP friends the opportunity to give you support on your journey. So glad you are persevering! emoticon

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CASSIOEPIA 3/14/2012 1:02PM

    Can't wait to meet you at JASR. I love your Ghandi quote - it is one of my favorite motivational quotes, and really helps me combat the "somebody should do ....." thoughts. If I think something needs to be done, then it's up to me to either do it or delegate it!

Thanks for stopping by my blog. Love the support :)

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WORKINGSTIFF 3/14/2012 9:26AM

    I'm friending you because you sound like a doer, not just a poser or wanna be Sparker!

Right on!

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EUPHRATES 3/14/2012 9:04AM

    emoticon We believe in you lady! emoticon

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LIVELAUFLUV 3/14/2012 5:43AM

    I'm with you on this! Thank you for putting it out there so that others could and would admit the same thing!

Looking forward to getting to know you as a teammate on the Rockin Reds BL team!

Donna

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LYNNANN43 3/13/2012 11:17PM

    Not only are you not hiding, you are SMOKING HOT in you new pic!!!!!
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NEWTEXDEBBIE 3/13/2012 11:09PM

    I'm right there with ya buddy! We can post the ones that we hate only to then stand back and see the changes as they happen! I'm proud of you and right beside you!

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NANAMOM652009 3/13/2012 11:04PM

    Love your attitde and I feel blessed by having the opportunity to get to know you.

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4UTOPIA 3/13/2012 9:49PM

    Thank you for calling me out of the shadows. Thank you for sharing your challenges and vulnerability and in doing so creating an opportunity for me to do the same. I have been in the shadow for months. Just reading the accomplishments of others and gaining points by reading the daily email - not really recommitting myself to taking action towards achieving my goals. Everyday, after I mess up, I tell myself try again tomorrow. UGH!! Sometimes, I sit down disappointed wondering when does my someday begin? The truth is that it begins the moment I decide to do what I KNOW is the right thing to do. The day I decide to turn the page on late night snacks and weeks of inactivity. I know what I need to do - THANK YOU for calling me out!!!

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DIFROMWYOMING 3/13/2012 9:48PM

    You are beautiful inside and out, and I'm proud to be here with you!
No more hiding, we are creating new bucket lists! :)

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 3/13/2012 9:37PM

    You are such an inspiration to me. I am so proud of you. I love you my friend. Thanks for getting serious! LOVE YOU! You're AWESOME!

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TXGRANDMA 3/13/2012 8:50PM

    Good for you! Glad you are back with us. The 3rd time is a charm! emoticon

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LOOZINITNOW 3/13/2012 8:34PM

    Beautiful pic of a beautiful woman inside and out!

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TRAVELNISTA 3/13/2012 8:12PM

    Debbie you look GREAT! Love that picture! I know that you will stick with it reach your goal. emoticon emoticon I just know you can. Look at all you have accomplished already!

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MKPRINCESS007 3/13/2012 7:31PM

    Debbie,
You are a beautiful person, inside and out. I can TRULY say I know that to be true. I am glad you posted a picture. You are a special person, and whomever tried to kill your self esteem didn't deserve the power they took from you. You are strong, and you can DO ANYTHING you believe in.

We are all here for you! You are the best!

Karen

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STEVENGO2 3/13/2012 6:01PM

    Also you are just not a parent, a wife or a job title you ARE NOT a number on a scale! You are a wonderful person who answered my many questions when I needed advice and I appreciate you spent your time helping me! Also you did not fail you just had a minor bump in your journey! All through your journey you are learning new things about yourself. You have not given up and I admire you for that ~ congrats!

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DYNAMICDEB53 3/13/2012 5:43PM

    Love that pic of you and glad you are out there and here and feeling better. Keep working at it and the results will come.
Hugs and smiles
Deb

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DONNAJZ4241 3/13/2012 5:21PM

    It is great that you have decided to write this blog. While I know it wasn't easy, I'm sure it will help you to get back on track again. Do not this of yourself as failing, but as learning things about yourself. You did it before, you can do it again...and I know you will. The beauty of Spark is that you have friends who are by your side, experiencing many of the same things you face. Please know you are not alone in this battle. We are here to help just as you have been there for us. Who knows...maybe some day we will get to meet. Good luck in your new attempt!

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Comment edited on: 3/13/2012 7:03:26 PM

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BAKER1009 3/13/2012 3:59PM

    I hope this "coming out" helps you! You are a beautiful person, but I knew that before I saw your picture!!

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TWILIGHT626 3/13/2012 3:26PM

    you are right it is time to get real with ourselves. i look in the mirror and i dont see 370 pounds. but when i look at pictures, you know when they say a pic is worth a thousand words, well i dont even know how to describe the person in them. in my eyes and face, i look like i am ill. my pic i have on here i weighed 308. when i look at other people that are obese, i think that i dont look as big as them. in reality, i AM that big if not bigger. the change has to come NOW if not i am slowly killing myself 1 pound at a time. if you need me i am here to support you, to listen, to pat you on the back, whatever you need. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NEWME0519 3/13/2012 1:55PM

    Lady, there is no need to hide. You are beautiful!

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GOLDENBALLOON 3/13/2012 1:54PM

  You've gained my instant respect. 'Nuff said. Come here and let me give you a big, big hug. We'll do this together. I'll be here for you 24/7.

It's a great time of year to get serious: Spring. Just like nature, we're starting to bloom again.

It's time to take a deep, deep sigh -- and realize that there are still so many good things about you, even in the past. Sure you made mistakes, but here's the thing, Change, you, me, and every woman you see. Everyone. Losing weight won't change that, we won't become better, perfect, flawless or happy. Look inside, there ... hidden behind the perceived obstacles of life, we find that we are all that we need to be for this very special day. Take it one day at a time, and you'll see that what you are is enough for the hours it holds.

You are strong enough. Kind enough. Diplomatic enough. Everything you need for this 24 hour section of life is right there, behind the drama, job title, traffic violation ticket, or what have you -- (I'm suddenly a little distracted, because one of the workmen that currently work on some improvements around our apartment building tipped the portable just enough to almost fall over with the whole thing. I think he'll have to go home and change.)

So, you see -- we all have our days and instead of heading for a doughnut it might be best if he went home for a shower, and then perhaps even to a doctor for advise or a shot of some kind. I think that is what we are learning here, making mistakes and coping with it. In the process, we lose weight.

Just realize that you are beautiful, awesome, amazing, and splendid, as you are.

Love you, Goldie.

Comment edited on: 3/13/2012 2:02:25 PM

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WOUBBIE 3/13/2012 1:47PM

    (((hugs)))

It's great to see your lovely face! It takes courage to put yourself out there, but this can be just the first of many victories!

(I, on the other hand, am a privacy freak, so the avatar stays. I don't even use my real name on Facebook!! LOL!)

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BILLALEX70 3/13/2012 1:44PM

    Lets maje it happen!

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 3/13/2012 1:34PM

    Good for you! No need to hide, we're all here for the same reason. *HUGS*

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