Journal Entry 9

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Almost 10 days into my new diet and exercise regimen. It's been hard these last few days...I crave random things that are just awful for my diet but that sound soooooo delicious. I tried making myself my own breakfast recipe this morning, and it came out....not so great health wise.

I started with eggs, which was a good choice. I added some chopped spinach and onion. Great, got some veggies in there! Then I added a sprinkle of mozzarella cheese, and boy, it all went downhill from there. Melted the cheese, scrambled the eggs, got them out on a plate, added a sprinkle of feta. Okay, this is still reasonably healthy. Then I spotted the bag of Jimmy Dean Breakfast sausage patties in the fridge.

Ah crap.

Fried them up...all 4 x.x ....and ate my breakfast. Ugh, I felt so weighed down afterwards. It was too much food, for one, and those sausages were really greasy. When I put in my recipe in SP just to add it to my nutrition planner, ooh, ugh, discovered just how bad for me it was. x.x and to think, I could've cut half the calories, nearly all the fat, most of the cholesterol and sodium just by having a banana instead of sausages. xP Needless to say, I won't be making that recipe again.

I made HUGE progress on my vision collage today. :D

A link to the larger image :

The background images, from left to right, represent how I feel currently about myself. The images on the left are the Sahara desert and a Hawaiian volcano. They represent how dry and empty I feel, especially about my energy level and appearance. I didn't want negative imagery in a motivational collage, like a big fat woman on one side and a skinny model on the other, and big words saying 'GO HERE', so I picked out images that would represent the way I felt, while still being beautiful photos that inspired me.

The middle images are symbolic of 'where I'm going', images of more lush terrain, things that make the heart flutter and swell with desire and beauty- the bottom middle is a Redwood forest in California, the top is the Aurora Borealis, and on the bottom right is an image of Havasu Falls in the Grand Canyon.

The other two scenery images are of the Great Barrier Reef, and Blue Holes off Long Island in the Bahamas- the deepest caverns in the world. Both of those are images of my rewards for reaching my goals- scuba diving in the reef and exploring the caverns. In between them are the words "Reward Yourself" to remind me that celebrating my accomplishments can help me achieve new ones.

The woman on the right is Seventy Arniotis, a model for Inked magazine- she represents the beauty I want to show the world, and also my third reward - getting my newest tattoo retouched.The word 'Inked' next to her indicates that. I didn't put her on there because I want to look like her- I put her on there because I wanted to reflect the confidence and love of my body that she has. She has turned herself into a piece of living artwork, used her body as a canvas, and she is not afraid to show the world that canvas. That kind of love for oneself and confidence is my ultimate goal.

The mountain on the left is Mt. Everest- it represents the challenges I have to surmount to make it to my goals, so it is placed between where I am and where I want to be. Above it are the words 'I can achieve the extraordinary', and an image of the full moon, to represent how high I can reach to make it happen. Next to it is a light bulb, with the word 'Inspired' on it - that represents the moment I decided to make the changes in my life to get where I want to go.The words in the upper left corner are 'Eat Smart, Stay Healthy, Feel Better'. They're above the mountain image, because that is what I need to do to overcome my challenges.

Below the mountain are my confidence boosters for when I feel like I can't do it. They state 'You can be healthy, happy, stress less'.

In the center of the image is an African lion, who represents the courage and dedication I have to make my dreams come true. He is there to remind me to stay strong, and never give up on myself. Beneath him are the words 'Be a free spirit, be creative, be sexy, be happy, be yourself.'

On the very top right are the words 'My ultimate goal is to love myself'. Self-explanatory, really. They are placed at the end of my timeline, the end of my journey. They are both a goal and a reward.

I'm really, really happy with how this came out. I plan to put it up near my kitchen, since that's where I lose my willpower most often.

Doing this collage made me feel like I really can do this. I have a long way to go, but I won't give up...because loving myself, loving how I feel, and how I look, is the key to being happy.

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