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    DEANA1003   7,336
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Motivation: What it means to me.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

I'm 50 years old. There, I said it. I have been "dieting" since I was 12.
Do you know how they say that you get wiser as you get older? Well, it's true.
When I was younger, in my teens, I was trying to lose weight to be "cool" or be able to wear the latest fashion trends. At that point in life, dieting was a chore. I didn't really care about nutrition, I just wanted to be cool and look good.
Then, in my twenties, well, let's just say I was trying to be someone my spouse thought I should be. I had my two daughters and never thought I was thin enough. Back then, the acid wash jeans were in style, and I actually was able to fit into a pair that looked good. More on that later.
I was divorced in my late twenties, and remarried at 30 to a wonderful guy who thought I was beautiful. (Me?!?) I had my son at 33 and the love handles slowly spread, along with my husband's.
For the next ten years, we dieted on and off, trying several different methods, where I was always the primary food prep person. My husband's mind set was "Tell me what to eat and I'll eat it." That left me with all the food prep during those times, and quite a bit of resentment, since all I did was deal with food. Not an easy task when trying to LOSE weight!
That's when, at 180 pounds, I decided to stop dieting. I would always be fat, and that was all there was to it. I didn't pay attention to my weight for about four years, even when my daughter got married. I made my dress for her wedding because I couldn't find anything in the bridal shops that fit properly.
In January of 2012, Shape Up Rhode Island was gearing up for their Spring session. Twelve weeks where you wear a pedometer and choose which categories to compete in: Daily steps, weight Loss, exercise minutes and number of fruits and veggies eaten per day. This year, A local hospital is also performing a research study on weight loss and maintenance that lasts 12 months. My doctor has been suggesting that I lose weight for health reasons, and I decided to do the screening to see if I qualified. I did. Their method of weight loss was counting calories and fat grams. That's all. I never tried that one! I always thought that counting calories would be too tedious, but I've found that it is the easiest, least restricting way to diet. Go figure.
During one of those sessions is where I learned about SparkPeople. I decided that, since motivation was always a problem for me, I needed to find ways around those bumps in the road. SparkPeople is that 'way' for me. I am here every day, and when I find myself losing steam, I turn to the motivational pages and it boosts me right back up! I no longer worry about what my husband is eating, because I can't control him, I can only control what I do. (Epiphany #1) While I do plan out meals, I no longer spend every waking moment worrying about food like I used to (Epiphany #2).
So, thirteen pounds in the first month and I'm still on that motivated high. I will be healthier and happier in my later years!
Oh, and by the way, those acid washed jeans from the 80's? When my oldest daughter was twelve, she put them on and could just about zip them up. I couldn't believe that when I was wearing them at twenty-seven, I still thought I was fat! I threw them out the next day. emoticon emoticon
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