Visiting after a long absence
Friday, March 09, 2012
It's been a while since I logged in to SP. A lot of stuff, a lot of changes.
I got overwhelmed with changes in work, lifestyle, family, marriage...had to edit a lot. I dropped out of TOPS, and stopped hanging out in the SP discussions.
I started walking, then tried a little running. I started tracking my food in earnest, and topped eating stuff I didn't need to eat. Dropped some pounds, and kept those off for a year.
The big changes occurred when I joined the YMCA in October, and started swimming almost every day. Wow. That changed my body shape completely. I've "ungrown" three swimsuits since then, and lost some more weight.
A friend introduced me to racquetball. I've never been athletic in any way, and had earned a severe phobia to moving balls of any sort. Nevertheless, I found myself enjoying the sport. I discovered some new muscles. I pulled some leg muscles, which forced me, after some rest, to start warming up on the indoor track.
(Anything you do in Tillamook in the winter is necessarily indoors, except for those rare pleasant days when you don't have to be at work.)
I can now swim two miles straight in one session. I can run/walk two miles in under 23 minutes. I can play racquetball slowly and badly for an hour without running out of breath.
The biggest surprise is that I actually enjoy these things! Except the running--that's a necessary evil. I usually do 15 minutes as a warm-up before racquetball, and I've had no more muscle injuries. I have muscles, and I can see them.
I'm almost to my former goal of 130 pounds, and have decided that I should shoot for 120.
I've given up my daily weigh-ins for Lent. It seems weird, and counter-intuitive, I know. I was inspired by Pastor Jerry's Ash Wednesday sermon. I'm letting myself trust God and my body to know what they are doing. I still follow my Program, logging all my food and exercise, and stick with those goals. But every morning I look at the bathroom scale, and choose not to know, not to let it judge me.
So I don't know what I weigh today, but I have to wear a belt with my smallest jeans now, and that belt is running out of notches. I noticed more muscle definition in my thighs the other day when I was dressing for racquetball. Perhaps tuning out the scale is making me tune in to my body.
Last time I checked, I'd dropped a total of 34 pounds. I feel pretty darn good about that. For the first time in fifteen or twenty years, I don't feel fat. I like the way I look in photos now. That is a wonderful feeling.