Friday, March 09, 2012
OH, WAIT..........do mice even wear Spanx? If not, I wanna be a mouse.
If you give a mouse Spanx, she will begin to expire as she sucks in her gut. As she starts to expire, she will realize she MUST get down to a smaller size. She will work off her little butt and get down to the next size so she will at least expire less. She will have a smaller muffin top and see the muffin tops in the basket instead of on her belly. She will see the muffin in the belly and remember how nearly she expired as she wore the Spanx. She will put on the Spanx and she will being to expire...............
OK, so, maybe I DO wanna be a mouse....a smaller, healthier mouse in the next size down of Spanx.
One lb. at a time...........one lb. at a time.
Oh, except I am actually not a mouse. I'm a turtle. God, PLEASE don't let me be hit on the road as I cross to the other side. And PLEASE, GOD, remind me to move onward, even though ever so slowly, so I don't get hit because I stopped in the middle of traffic to bask in the sun.