10,000-14,999 SparkPoints 11,632

Day 310: Thankful & Yet Still Depressed

Thursday, March 08, 2012

I am trying to reconcile my depression and thankfulness. I hate feeling these two dual emotions over my weight loss. It's tearing me apart; and, it's also counter-productive to my overall well-being. I want to be happy and excited, I truly do. I just don't know how to maintain my positive outlook. The negative feelings seem to creep in and then smother me. Last night, I weeped for over an hour and cried myself to sleep, literally. I feel so messed up today. I started to think about my Mom last night, which became terribly overwhelming and sad. I ended up in tears. I miss her so much. My heart is broken in so many pieces from her death. She really was my bestfriend; and, the entire wedding experience would have been wonderful to have my Mom here for it. I don't know...
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I don't know the right things to say to make you feel better. I do, however, think that you should take comfort from believing you gave great joy to your mother. She had a loving daughter in you-- and the delight that you added to her life is reason for you to feel contentment. Both of you were mutual "gifts" to each other. God bless you.
    2201 days ago
    Your Mom would want you to have a wonderful wedding, and would want nothing more than for you to be happy.

    2203 days ago
    Blogging it probably helped a little I hope. Maybe go for a nice walk or do some kind of activity, work out the pain. I never know what to say when someone is down about a loss of a loved one, there really isn't anything I could say to make it better. But I always tell my babies that I am always with them, in their hearts and minds have that gift too. And its ok to grieve...
    2206 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.