Not sure what to call it, but not "Giving Up."
Thursday, March 08, 2012
Maybe it's a hiatus? I don't know, but I'm losing some oomph.
When I started on SP in August of 2010, I had already lost a few pounds after meeting with a nutritionist, and I *have* lost weight, but it has been a long, slow slog while reading many stories of people losing 3 pounds a week. I have "officially" lost 15 pounds since August. My cousin just posted on FB that she's lost 15 pounds *this month*! Aaarggghhh.
I swear that I have been "good." I have been exercising and eating right and drinking my water, and still the weight doesn't come off. I know I'm supposed to be excited about fitting into my "skinny" jeans, and I am, but it's hard to stare at the d@mn weight tracker line and not see it moving in any meaningful way.
So, I have stopped obsessively racking up the Spark Points and tracking my eating. I still check in here, to gorge on the stories of all the amazing people and their progress [FREETHEGODDESS, I'm talking to you] but it's just not working for me. I have tried the low end of the calorie range, the high end, and everything in between. Maybe this is just what I'm going to be, and I'm never going to see the scale break that 140 like I have been hoping and working for. I just don't know what I feel about that.
In the past, after a "hiatus" in dieting, I would gain everything back, but now, I'm realizing that to do that would be a conscious choice, while in the past it wasn't. I *know* how many calories are in the foods I'm eating; I know how many fruits and vegetables I need to eat in a day, whereas in the past I just put food in my mouth and chewed. In addition, I have come to love exercising and see it as my time for "me," and that's not going away, either. I know I'm not going to wake up and mysteriously drop the last 15 pounds, but I'm just not sure what to do, and afraid of burning out.