60,000-79,999 SparkPoints 72,085


Thursday, March 08, 2012

I used to be a Hells Angel in a former life!I was a force to be reckoned with.My parents divorce,being left to care for Dad at age 12,shortly after that being LEFT ALONE to fend for myself was not a picnic.I had to get mean,angry,and puff myself up to let people know I was a fighter.I walked around with a meanie face 95% of the time...Time and LOVE mellowed me out but not alot.My children knew to tiptoe around me when the MOOD was in me!I met and came to know my phillipino friend Faustina at a gas station.I think God was leading her to me but,I overheard her asking about our Thrift Shop.I turned to her and said come and follow me and she did.She loved it so much that she volunteered to help us.She really did pull me out of my shell and laughter became a daily thing with us.She truly gave me love and acceptance.My kids laughed at me when I said she had magical powers.I said you will love her right away!They did and for 9 whole and satisfying years she loved us like family and never let us forget the depth of her love.We returned it 100%!One scary day she came to help and was not laughing or talking and I knew she was ill.She went to the doctor at lunch and came back with the ugliest words I'd ever heard...COLON CANCER....CHEMO....TERMINAL...
.TESTS!I cried and held her tight....We'll fight it,we'll get another opinion,we wont give up!She took my face in her hands and kissed my forehead and said...Promise me that you will always find a way to LOVE back and you will think of me when it gets too much!!For days after I walked around in a fog and didnt visit her.I wanted to be there for her with a smile and support her and it was so hard.She had eaten so healthy and was always chasing me with an orange or wheat grass shake.Now she was dying and what could I do?She asked for some donuts!So,her DH said yeah,bring her some!I did and she ate them..all 6 of them!!Thats all she wanted was sweets for a while.Her attitude remained strong and determined and one day hospice called us to her side and with a room full of loved ones beside her she left us.One year to the day after being diagnosed.I was so angry at first,then I looked at her peaceful face and love exploded in me like a firework display.I walked over and kissed her forehead and whispered I PROMISE.
Today is her birthday and she would have been 81.
ATTITUDE is our choice in this world...we can choose how we react to a negative or a positive.Anytime you feel yourself losing control,
Think...Is this how I choose to feel?
Would I rather be smiling and happy?
Or angry,upset,yelling,screaming,
cursing and crying?
More energy goes into being upset
and besides happy feels so good!
Tina will always dwell in my heart
because of her I am positive
emoticon emoticonSUSAN
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CANNIE50
    What a beautiful tribute to your friend. Thank you for sharing this story. I have often noticed how much difference my attitude makes when I can have the exact same circumstances yet one day I handle it gracefully, and the next I can be a stressed-out whiner. There are so many reminders to help us adjust our attitudes, if we are willing to look. Thank you again, for posting this blog.
    2204 days ago
    Thank you for sharing this blog.
    "ATTITUDE is our choice ..."
    I need to be reminded sometimes.
    2204 days ago
    Wow... You certainly said a lot today. Thank you...
    2205 days ago
    Boy, oh, boy, Susan... much food for thought.

    I've often heard it said "Attitude is altitude..." emoticon
    2205 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.