Tuesday, March 06, 2012
Gauranteed weight loss is really easy. It amazes me that anyone actually struggles with losing weight. All of this fuss and bother, whining, moaning, complaining. Millions of dollars are spent on weight loss programs, diets, supplements, special foods. Coaches. Any idiot can lose weight. I've done it many times. Are any of you willing to pay me $5 bucks for the simple solution? Don't worry, I am not a weight loss guru, looking for a cool and easy million. I'll give you the 4 words that you need for success. FREE! Now read carefully, because I'm not going to repeat this. This message will disappear after you finish reading this blog.
Are you ready?
Do you really want this secret?
Will you put it into action RIGHT NOW?
Okay, then, you've earned the secret. The four magic words are:
I haven't lost any weight in 8 weeks. Why? I know the magic words - I even shared them with you. Well, I have not been practicing those words. Remember when you were a kid and your mom and dad, in an attempt to civilize you little savages, would withhold whatever you wanted until you used the magic words. Remember that you weren't allowed candy, soda and treats except on special occasions? Remember PE classes? Well, mommy and daddy aren't here any more and it's up to you. There's no one to stop you from stuffing yourself with candy, pizza or soda - except for you. There is no bad old gym teacher around to push you into moving more, farther, faster or harder - except for you.
There are extenuating circumstances where your health or medications can slow weight loss. Not drinking enough, eating too little or eating 1400 calories of garbage foods will slow weight loss, too, because your body is a very smart machine.
I haven't been losing weight because I haven't been exercising for a while. I really miss exercising, the wonderful fatigue, the movement, the stress relief and endorphins. However, I am "medically fragile" and have been coping with a two month interval of falling apart, piece by piece: first dangerously high potassium, then out of control blood pressure, high ambient pain, a frozen shoulder, seguing to a torn meniscus that should be corrected surgically, and now severe spinal stenosis and disc degeneration that requires surgery and maybe fusion. There were some other ugly scares mixed in there, too. I'm in for a lot of time in physical therapy and surgery has to be scheduled carefully because I am immunosuppressed.
Last year I lost 40 pounds using those four magic words. Right now I am maintaining my weight because I've temporarily lost the use of two of my magic words - MOVE MORE. But, I'm getting things fixed. And as soon as my doctors clear me, I'll be using all four magic words and I'll be watching the scale go down.
But YOU... You listen to me. Think of me as that parental angel sitting on your shoulder. Quit eating crap and use those four magic words. Use them every day and you will see results. By the time, I'm back, I want your act cleaned up. Do you hear me young lady?
EAT LESS MOVE MORE
PS It's not really magic. Feel free to pass it on, too.