Monday, March 05, 2012
Since my last blog it got cold, and I got WAY stressed about Dietetic internship applications. On top of the cold, it got dark earlier, and stayed dark later, so I couldn't ride my bike at all. I ate like crap for ~ 2 weeks in the beginning of February. I have worked of the stress weight - that wasn't too hard, but I am still not anywhere close to my goal.
I have control issues with food and exercise.
I have the control to not eat any meat, or meat based products.
I have the control to not drink coffee because it makes me tweeky.
I have the control to get up every day and make it to work every day.
I have the control to do that when I hate my job, or when I have worked 2 jobs and the hours are long.
I have the control to keep my house clean - or make my husband do it :p
I have the control to stay within our budget for food and other spending. (some times I spend a little more than the budget, but never ever any more than we have available)
I have the control to stop drinking when I know I've had enough, or not drink at all if I know I shouldn't.
I have the control to come home and take care of my husband and my pets, even if it means inconveniencing my other tasks for the day.
I have enough control to not go over 170lbs -
Why do I not have the control to maintain lost weight and stay under 165? or even better 150? I just want to be in a healthy BMI range and feel fit!
Why don't I have the control I need to do this? I feel great after I exercise, but I still hit the snooze button instead. What do I have to do in my head to make exercise as required as letting the dogs out?
If I were to exercise on a regular basis losing weight would be a lot easier. When I exercise I feel better, I lose weight, and I want to eat healthier to not waste my time on exercise by eating 1034324 cookies!
I LOVE the taste of my healthy food, my veggies, my fruits, my low-fat dairy, - but I also love the taste of cookies and cake and ice cream that just isn't satisfied by fruit. (It's a texture AND taste thing, but just sweet).
I need to get my life back and quit worrying about my weight - no scratch that - my HEALTH. I just need it to be a part of my daily routine that I do, not something I stress about laying in bed WISHING I was doing...
I've lost weight before, I can do it again - the question is - can I make the lifestyle change required to keep it off?
How can I keep it up once I've hit my goal?