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    AWESOMECAROL55   110,229
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....and they all lived happily ever after!!

Sunday, March 04, 2012

Don't you wish the life stories of your loved ones, could always end that way? Wouldn't it be great if we could script the ending of our loved one's life, so none of them would suffer or lose their dignity. So they would be in a happy place, perhaps far away or long ago...where they felt strong and young!! A place where it wasn't a struggle to eat, sleep, or even breathe!

I learned a long time ago to pray for God's will ...not mine. Often these two are miles apart..sometimes they are one and the same! This I know..I can't script the ending of anyone's life..not even mine. All I can pray for now is to have the strength to accept God's will.

I don't think we have much time left with my Mom....I don't know. I can't predict that. What I do know is mother's spiritual foundation is rock solid..I take comfort in that. I think she has been telling us all long that she is ready to go and doesn't want to suffer. Some folks have been mistaking that for delusions and dementia...Not I. She has been embracing those deceased who have gone before father, her sister, her aunt and mother. My father passed 40 years ago..she spoke of their undying love 2 days sweet!! This gives her great comfort.

Nope..If she is ready, then we must be ready as well. It's sad, but even sadder to know she is more okay with dying than some of my siblings are. Denial is such a powerful word! Don't get me wrong....I love her dearly and I wish I had told her that more.... but it's time to let her go to a better place! She deserves that...she deserves to suffer no more!

Thank you friends for all of the support you have given me. I don't know what the next few days or weeks will bring! I just know it is a great comfort to me to have you all by my are my angels!!



Member Comments About This Blog Post:
MEMORIES7 8/29/2012 10:57AM

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KNEWMETODAY 4/21/2012 9:53PM

    As a Hospice volunteer, I've seen the struggles family can experience when death comes. Four days after my dad died, my mother--a Hospice patient--also died. They were buried at a single service the day of the OKC bombing. (4/19/95)

Kathy emoticon

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SWEETMAGNOLIA2 3/7/2012 6:05AM

    As a nurse who has had the privilege of working with people in the last days of their life I have seen the peace that comes to those who are truly ready to go. It always seems harder for the family members. Often families are divided over whether to have surgery that may give a few more days, but at what price to the energy and suffering of the one who has to endure it. You have the thinking many in my profession applaud; make this stage of life as comfortable as possible and let the loved one go in peace.

Carol, I know since you wrote this blog things have changed for the better. I am rejoicing with you that there is a good chance your Mom will make it through alright. She and your family continue to be in my prayers.

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JANNEPERRY 3/5/2012 9:57PM

    You have a great attitude and it sounds like your faith really helps you put things into perspective. God bless. I will continue to keep your family in my prayers. emoticon

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CRYSTLE4HIMTX10 3/5/2012 8:08PM

    My heart and prayers are with you and your family. emoticon

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CINDHOLM 3/5/2012 3:34PM

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CAMOGIE3 3/5/2012 11:21AM

    Love you!!! My thoughts and prayers are with y'all! Sounds like y'all've got a lot of memories to cherish...

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CARANN56 3/5/2012 10:01AM

    It is never easy to lose a loved one - especially your mother. I'm happy for you that you are able to spend time with your mom during her last days. As hard as it is, you will always treasure the moments.

Prayers to you and your family.


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DEBIGENE 3/5/2012 9:13AM

    Carol I have to tell you that your blog put such a smile on my face !!!! I too believe in GOD's will and know that it will be done, regardless of what we think or want. But HE is there for us. I could almost hear and see your mom as I read your words, she sounds beautiful and she has passed that beauty on to you my friend. GOD has truly blessed you all to have such a wonderful Mom !!!! May she go in peace when GOD calls her home.

HUGS, HUGS, HUGS and more HUGS !!!!

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THATGIRL07 3/5/2012 9:06AM

    How bittersweet to want your mom to have all the peace and comfort and beauty of being in heaven and yet to yearn for her to stay here with you and your family because you love her so!

Your heart and soul are in the right place Carol; God will take care of her! And he will take care of you too, giving you strength and comfort and the love of your friends to help you through this journey.

Hugs dear Spark friend!

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JESSIKA_56 3/5/2012 8:01AM


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ANOTHERMOMOF2 3/5/2012 7:49AM

    I'm glad you are accepting. I know it's not easy. I hope you are able to enjoy the time that is left with her.

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CRAZYWOMAN10 3/5/2012 4:49AM

    Beautifully said Carol. I will pray for your siblings to find the same comfort. I think its awesome that your mom referenced your dad....that is beautiful. Its never easy on us who are left behind or feel like we are being left behind. Today is the 11th yr anniversary of losing my father..and next month 2 yrs for my mom. Thanks for reminding me that they are happy in another place.

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LESLIESENIOR 3/5/2012 1:24AM

    Your mom, your faith, and your healthy level of acceptance have obviously given you the courage and strength to walk this journey of transition with your mom peacefully and serenely. What a supreme blessing for you both.

Many prayers.

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ERIECANALGAL 3/4/2012 11:13PM

I'm sending you a quote about heaven that is a comfort to me and may be for you too, "Heaven is a permanent residence...
A place where we unpack out bags and stay forever
What a glorious thought to wake up in Heaven
And realize it's home!"
Praying God's will for your mother.
And strength for your family.
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RUBYCLAIRE 3/4/2012 10:13PM

    Oh my dear Carol, my heart breaks for all of you. Believe me when I say I know how VERY difficult it is to let go of those we love, ESPECIALLY our Moms. We don't want them to suffer, but at the same time we don't want them to leave this plane of existence, either. You said you wished you would have said "I love you" more, well, you may not feel that you expressed it vocally enough, but you did show her in your actions and your Mom knows this.

May you find the needed strength in the love from your friends.
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LOLAJO54 3/4/2012 9:56PM

    Very well expressed Carol . I too will pray that your mom will -if it is her time-slip quietly away and not suffer anymore..

God give you strength
emoticon emoticon Jo

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KMICHA 3/4/2012 9:41PM

    Ahhh . . . Carol . . . emoticon If the time has come to let go, you are preparing yourself wellu As much as we would like, we cannot hold on to our loved ones forever. Such hope in knowing that your mom's faith is rock solid. You know, without a doubt, that she is headed for a better place . . . and there is hope in that too . . . for you know you will be seeing her again. Praying for you and your family.

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2BMYOWN 3/4/2012 8:43PM

    You're a very compassionate and understanding daughter, Carol. I truly do believe that our loved ones come to escort us on beyond the point where those of us who must remain can go. It's a road we all must walk, at some point. I'm sure that your mother is grateful for your own faith, and for your willingness to allow her to be free to join her other loved ones if it is time for her to do that. It's never easy, but it's sometimes necessary, and one of the saddest parts of this life here. God bless and keep all of you. You know your mother will always be there with you no matter what happens, forever. emoticon

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DANA564 3/4/2012 8:39PM

    Beautifully said. I pray that I can be as strong as your when I am faced with those decisions. Sending prayers and hugs your way. emoticon

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KIMBERTA99 3/4/2012 8:24PM

    Carol it is so hard when our loved ones are suffering and there is nothing we can do. You and your mom continue to be in my prayers. Stay stong and know that the decisions you have made are in the best intrest of your dear mom. Sending big HUGS your way!! Kim

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    yes she is seeing those who have gone before her welcoming her to come at her pace. I am glad you are at peace with your decisions about your mom, and that you are strong enough to recognize that she may be ready for the next step. I saw this with my husband's mother. comfort yourself in the knowledge that she will be welcomed by loved ones when she is ready.

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ELLFIN3 3/4/2012 8:17PM

    emoticon You are very wise!! I know it is so hard to let go! But You want what is best for Your Mom! Just know I am here and You are in My thoughts and prayers emoticon (((((HUGS)))))

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SAISHA100CJ 3/4/2012 8:13PM

    My heart is with you, your Mom and family, Carol. emoticon

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RAINBOWMF 3/4/2012 8:06PM

    Carol, so beautifully written.

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Stay strong.


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1BEACHWALKER 3/4/2012 8:01PM

    Breaks my heart you have to go through that Carol-I have tears in my eyes. You are in my thoughts and hope you will be ok. Your mother sounds so brave-faith can do that for you. Don't know what else to say, except we are here for you. emoticon emoticon

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MTNGRL 3/4/2012 7:47PM

    Carol, may God continue to give you strength and comfort. You are so wise and strong. We never know what His plan is and just need to know it is going to be ok. I am glad your Mom is standing on solid ground and having gone thru something similar that alone gave me the courage to face the future, come what may.
May God continue to be with her and you and the rest of the family. Hugs!

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VTRICIA 3/4/2012 7:47PM

    (((Hugs))) Take care. I'm reminded to enjoy my mom while I can.

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    Amen, Carol! You and your family will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs!

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