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    EVER-HOPEFUL   132,261
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hope getting it out in the open might help

Sunday, March 04, 2012

i have been not blogging lately,am behind on reading my friends blogs and not responsive or as responsive on alot of my teams threads.here is the reason.below is a copy of what i wrote on the pink vikings thread whoes challange team i am on.so you all know where i stand and feed back would be helpful as i am really in a placei donīt want to be and donīt know how to get out and being honest to myself about it was what i needed instead of pretending there is nothing wrong.

sorry no time or lust to catch up on the post i am afraid.i seem to be really struggling at the moment and could do with support but what type of support i donīt know,lol.even though i now know all is ok with the tumor in my brain it seems to have really mixed my head,feelings excetra .i can get it quite out of my mind and the fact that it is still there abnd that even though i know it wonīt harm me it is still there.or maybe it is more with the word tumor and all it envolks.anywhere this is where i am at at the moment and i donīt seem to know where to go from here.if anyone has been in this place and can maybe tell me that my thoughts,feelings etc normal is i might feel better.strange you think now it is over i would be over tzhe moon whjich i was a whole hour,but now as i said basic turmoil.basically,HELP:

thanks once again everybody for taking the time to read my blog.love you all,karen



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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHERIEO1 3/12/2012 3:37PM

  I can't imagine the stress and worry this is causing you. You certainly are justified in feeling that way. It sounds like just thinking about it is throwing your life into a funk. I hope that you're able to get past this and get back to feeling like yourself. Hugs!!

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IWILLRUN2 3/10/2012 12:23PM

    Good news your tumor is benign! I could understand not wanting it there even if it is not harming you.

Try to do something you enjoy today.. even if you don't want to. I don't have a tumor, but I am struggling with depression and would rather lock myself away and be myself than get out and do things. On the spur of the moment last night I took my son to the movies to lift his spirits because my husband is out of town and my son was missing him. It felt so good to make my son happy, laugh, and smile.. we had a good time.

Even if you don't feel happy or content yourself, it does feel really good when you can reach out and do something for someone else that will make them feel good. It helps get our focus off our own troubles and onto something more positive.

Put on your favorite music and light your favorite candle.. make or buy your favorite treat. Watch your favorite movie. I love to go for a walk with my dogs and my ipod blaring my favorite music into my ears :o) Get up and take a shower..make yourself beautiful, just for yourself.

Sometimes it's hard to accept and handle things in our lives we have no control over. I try to focus on what I CAN do and not what I CAN"T. Sometimes it helps to just sit and brainstorm a list of positive things I CAN do to help the situation.

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling down today. I hope things turn around and you end up having a GREAT day!! It's still early!! emoticon

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AHMARROSE 3/7/2012 8:18AM

  Ahamdolellah it is benign
emoticon
I will keep you in my duaa
and you do a lot of duaa
take care

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LOVEALASKA 3/6/2012 8:03PM

    I have to agree with everybody else, blogging, and just "putting it out there," helps soooo much! I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I also want you to know that I appreciate your thoughts and comments on my page, it really means a lot! emoticon

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BLOSSOMEWOLFE 3/6/2012 4:13PM

    You've been very supportive on my initial postings and blogs, and alot of your insight has really helped me keep on an even keel during these first few tumultuous days. :) I'm glad to hear that your tumor was benign, but I understand how upsetting the concept of having even a benign tumor can be.

I offer my support and encouragement, as you have offered me yours, and give lots of emoticon and hearts to you while you're struggling. Obviously I blog about pretty much everything during my day, and it really helps me to just get it all out instead of stewing about it.Perhaps you will feel the same.

I hope you feel better soon, Karen! emoticon emoticon

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ABB698 3/4/2012 11:28PM

    So glad it is benign, and yes, of course you're still scared. Ask as many opinions as needed for your own peace of mind, that's what matters most! We will continue to pray for you as always, my friend! emoticon

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PRAIRIECROCUS 3/4/2012 2:15PM

    Karen - I am thankful that your tumor is benign, and not cancerous !
I hope that you and yours will have a nice weekend !

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MAGA99 3/4/2012 1:24PM

    emoticon

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DEE797 3/4/2012 1:10PM

    Your feelings are valid and normal. I agree with others about getting a second opinion if you haven't already done so. We are here for you. emoticon emoticon

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SUSIEPH1 3/4/2012 12:34PM

    My Dear friend !
Of course you are still thinking of this tumour in your head ..whether it is benign doesn't alter the fact that it is there.
I too, would be wondering if the doctors are really sure it will be ok .
I think it all come down to you maybe getting a second opinion.
If it were me, I would be getting a second opinion ..
then I could deal with it much better..
Know that we love you .. and we are Praying for you and your family ...
My love and thoughts are constantly with you my friend .
Hugs Susie


emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SPARKLINSUE 3/4/2012 10:12AM

    Karen, your thoughts and confusion are all perfectly NORMAL. As you say the word tumour is very scary and it takes a while to sink in that is it all going to be okay, but it will. You are always in my prayers and thoughts and keep in touch, I know that you are busy, but the support you get is amazing from Sparkfriends emoticon emoticon emoticon

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-SONIA- 3/4/2012 10:06AM

    I can definitely understand how scary, confusing, and unsure everything must seem right now. For me, I would feel a lack of control -- which is the absolute worst for me to deal with... Even though the doctors say the tumor isn't hurting you, it's still something you don't have any control over. And it is very scary. I hope you are able to work through how you are feeling. Your Spark Friends are here to help. Blogging helps. "Thinking out loud" in blogs helps. All it takes is one little thought to add some clarity -- so think away, and soon you'll find "the one." ((( Hugs ))) and please take care of yourself. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FITNHEALTHYKAL 3/4/2012 7:42AM

    Karen - Of COURSE your feelings and thoughts are NORMAL and what IS NORMAL anyway. What is normal for you or some physician or reference text is entirely different for someone else sweetie and what you need to do is take time to accept what you have been told and work through your emotions in your own way. Take what you have been told and assimilate it and perhaps even go to another physician for a second opinion since it would seem (and understandably so) that you may have some feelings of discomfort with the way this was handled and THAT second opinion might offer you some relief that will thereby enable you to move forward with more ease. Is that something you might consider?

And you will also get many friends offering you insight here and that will also help you sort it all out most definitely which is why spark is such a wonderful community.

Take time to allow yourself to accept and assimilate this information and talk to us and let us embrace it with you.

We love you too Karen. emoticon

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