Sunday, March 04, 2012
I see a pattern starting here, and I don't like it. My roommate is on vacation, far far away for 10 days. I'm busy during the day at work, focused on my project which has a milestone deadline on Monday, and have plenty of after-work activities to keep me busy as well (Spanish lessons, Running Group, Speed Skating practices). I'm eating well, and lots, and have been really satisfied with my meals this week, after deciding to try a meatless diet for a month. I chopped up a bunch of veggies and made an Udon noodle stir-fry last night which I thought was fabulous and really filling. In spite of it, and my very positive feelings about it, I had a sweet craving after I was finished. I scoured the pantry, and found a bag of marshmallows. I allocated myself 4 marshmallows, and went to my computer to eat them while I caught up on emails for the day. I ate them and it wasn't long before I got up and went back for more. Repeat 10 times, until the entire bag of marshmallows was gone. I even told myself at one point "OK, this is the last one", and I was back 5 minutes later for more. I felt over-full, a bit nauseated, and was beating myself up by the time I disposed of the empty bag. Two days earlier, on grocery night, I bought a bag of chocolate covered almonds from the bulk section of the store, 270 grams worth, and they were gone before I went to bed that night.
So, I'm trying to figure out if it's emotional eating, since I'm mired in a lot of uncertainty right now; if I'm lonely without the one constant person in my life right now (since I'm already 3000km away from all my friends and family) and sugar is a misdirected response to that loneliness; or... something else.
I think I'll sleep on it, since fatigue could very well be a factor as well, and will try my best to have a better day tomorrow.