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Saturday, March 03, 2012

sorry for my intermittent presence on my page here ... just trying to balance work, working out, and life. i also think i am on the verge of bringing myself back to counseling, but it's a big emotional investment and i am hesitating for whatever reason. i think in part it's depression ... i don't even have the energy to just go .. i sort of feel like i need to psyche myself up for it or something. some days it's very hard to even get out of bed in the morning, and although i love my job, i find that i spend a heavy majority of time disengaging in the time i have outside of work. i am wondering what's up with that.

moleskine came out with a really cool divided hardcover journal - called a "wellness journal" and i bought one, which i have started journaling in one part of it where there is space to make weekly goals. i just jot down the circling questions that are on my mind and leave them there, maybe to go back to later or maybe not, but just to have an ongoing stream of consciousness or whatever.

don't get me wrong ... i am being SEMI-productive. Mondays and Fridays I work up at the sledding hill after my real job, and while my energy for that has dragged in the "getting there" aspect, it has helped me a little bit to have something to do outdoors and physical that is helping me at least minimally be able to pay more bills. and the three other misfit coworkers i have there, i really like. Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays I have been going to this boot camp circuit training class at my gym ... which is KICKING my ass in a good way. I'm proud of myself because i have made it to every class so far and I plan to get all 18. I think I might reward myself with a small reward of some sort when I get through it for perfect attendance and working hard. but i also feel on some level, the class itself and getting to go should be the reward itself. i saw a thing on tumblr earlier - something about ... stop thinking exercising is punishment but rather a reward for how you want to treat your body. i think that is very true.

i saw a few funny things on tumblr that i copied so i could post it here. i thought people might enjoy a laugh.

this is something i liked that i saw too, motivational. promising.

the only other news i could really mention is that i got my Master's degree a couple weekends ago. there were five of us in my graduation class, and although none of my family or anyone came to see it or celebrate it with me, one of my original cohort classmates had taken an extra semester when i did so it was nice to graduate together. the weekend was special in its own way - good local food in the cafeteria and my classmate's husband who is from morocco arranged to be able to cook a traditional moroccan meal the first night of the residency, so we had that and it was something to remember. i made a twenty minute video for my thesis presentation, which i am trying to upload to vimeo or something because a few people said they had wanted to see it, so maybe i can link it here when i do that. it has to do with endurance running/ sport, existentialism, etc.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Yay, Congrats! You always amaze me. Can't wait to see what else you take on in your life! :)
    2186 days ago
    Congrat on the MASTERS! waht an awesome accomplishment.

    Good luck on finding and keeping the balance.

    Have a fabulous rest of your week!
    2186 days ago
    Very cool and I think you are awesome.
    2186 days ago
    Whatever you're going through I know in the end you are going to be okay because you are, seriously, one of the bravest strongest people EVER! You may not always know it, but take a moment to look at all you have achieved in your very young life. Things that others who are 3x your age will NEVER do.

    Congratulations on your MA! That is so fantastic!!! Good job!!!!
    2203 days ago
  • MOLLI15
    Always glad to hear what is going on in your life! Way to go on circuit training! and i love this:

    "stop thinking exercising is punishment but rather a reward for how you want to treat your body"

    Best of luck wrestling with going to counseling/dealing with depression--I think for counseling sometimes feels like it drags out in the open a lot of painful things from past/present but can't always bring closure or fix them so not only is it a big emotional investment but can need to be over a long time period...

    and of course major congrats on the MA!

    2203 days ago
  • HEIDI-25
    I think that lots of us can relate~ we are doing really good on some things in our lives yet feel depressed about other things for seemingly no reason. When this happens to me, I seek out stories to read about others who have it much harder in life than I do and are overcoming the challenges that they have. It seems to give me the kick in the ass that I need to stop feeling so bummed out.
    You are doing fantastic things health wise and on a personal/professional level with getting your masters degree. I have mine and know how much work it is in addition to working full time and balancing everything else in life. There is nothing wrong with wanting to reward yourself with something nice.
    Chin up, lots of us are out here to vent to :)
    Thanks for sharing. I hope your day/week is a good one.
    2204 days ago
  • SHEILA1505
    Congrats, (D)Ash Gallo, MA

    Glad that you are still doing the sledding "work" and getting out and about. Sad that you feel so blehhhh :( Big hugs!
    2204 days ago
  • FREES1
    Congratulations Master Dash!
    You've made a lot of changes and are coming from your bike adventure so be gentle with yourself... Do what is right for you and hang in there
    2204 days ago
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