sorry for my intermittent presence on my page here ... just trying to balance work, working out, and life. i also think i am on the verge of bringing myself back to counseling, but it's a big emotional investment and i am hesitating for whatever reason. i think in part it's depression ... i don't even have the energy to just go .. i sort of feel like i need to psyche myself up for it or something. some days it's very hard to even get out of bed in the morning, and although i love my job, i find that i spend a heavy majority of time disengaging in the time i have outside of work. i am wondering what's up with that.

moleskine came out with a really cool divided hardcover journal - called a "wellness journal" and i bought one, which i have started journaling in one part of it where there is space to make weekly goals. i just jot down the circling questions that are on my mind and leave them there, maybe to go back to later or maybe not, but just to have an ongoing stream of consciousness or whatever.

don't get me wrong ... i am being SEMI-productive. Mondays and Fridays I work up at the sledding hill after my real job, and while my energy for that has dragged in the "getting there" aspect, it has helped me a little bit to have something to do outdoors and physical that is helping me at least minimally be able to pay more bills. and the three other misfit coworkers i have there, i really like. Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays I have been going to this boot camp circuit training class at my gym ... which is KICKING my ass in a good way. I'm proud of myself because i have made it to every class so far and I plan to get all 18. I think I might reward myself with a small reward of some sort when I get through it for perfect attendance and working hard. but i also feel on some level, the class itself and getting to go should be the reward itself. i saw a thing on tumblr earlier - something about ... stop thinking exercising is punishment but rather a reward for how you want to treat your body. i think that is very true.

i saw a few funny things on tumblr that i copied so i could post it here. i thought people might enjoy a laugh.






this is something i liked that i saw too, motivational. promising.



the only other news i could really mention is that i got my Master's degree a couple weekends ago. there were five of us in my graduation class, and although none of my family or anyone came to see it or celebrate it with me, one of my original cohort classmates had taken an extra semester when i did so it was nice to graduate together. the weekend was special in its own way - good local food in the cafeteria and my classmate's husband who is from morocco arranged to be able to cook a traditional moroccan meal the first night of the residency, so we had that and it was something to remember. i made a twenty minute video for my thesis presentation, which i am trying to upload to vimeo or something because a few people said they had wanted to see it, so maybe i can link it here when i do that. it has to do with endurance running/ sport, existentialism, etc.