When The Stress Gets To Be Too Much
Saturday, March 03, 2012
In the past, I have not been a big TV watcher...only because I know myself well enough to know that I start watching, and well, that is where I stay...lol. I even put myself on a TV diet at one point...I actually went 5 years without watching tv...or at least for my own enjoyment.. once in a while i would catch whatever the kids were watching... and then i started watching Dr Oz...the The Doctors...and that would of been ok, had i stuck to just that... but next thing you know i also had to catch Rachel Ray...and Clean House...and then... oh you get the picture...lol. Then dd1 got pregnant...and then the news that she would have to go on bed rest...it's amazing how many of those can't miss shows sat on my dvr just waiting to be watched because i just had to see them... every night i have been going through the list and deleting ones that were reruns...then i started deleting ones that i just did not "have" to watch... semi homemade by sandra lee...and though i do like some of the tips i can get from these types of shows...they just are not have to see's anymore...now i am left with those i really want to see...just not for vegetation purposes...lol... and then i use my dvr to it's fullest extent...fast forward... i see something i want to see, i watch it... if a particular feature doesn't pertain to me...fast forward... wohoo...this is a technology i can't live without...lol. now onto why this blog... you see... this week stress seems to be hitting an all time high...dd1 has been on bed rest now for 3 weeks... still a week and half away from baby being what they call "viable". just 1 1/2 weeks from our first goal of getting baby TJ to 24 weeks gestational... and though i am now in a routine of taking care of her and her household, and my ds, me and my household... it still does not make it any less stressful...in fact, i think more stressful because with a routine i have time to think...not always a good thing...lol.... i worry about my dd1 and the precious little guy she is carrying... she has miscarried before and has tried for 3 years to get pregnant... i've watched her struggle as news stories of mothers who kill their kids, or neglect their kids...or are drug addicts can have kids with no thought to that little person...i watched as her sister got pregnant within months of trying... yea, dd1 was happy for her sister...and loves the lil man unconditionaly...but it still hurt her just the same... and then to finally get pregnant...and then watching the struggle and the fear that has been haunting her for weeks now... will she be able to carry, if not to term, at least until baby is "viable"...and if til then...how early and how much struggle will this lil guy have to go through....she is so excited...yet, so fearful...as am i...then this week, most of you may have heard of an Ohio school shooting...and though i know none of these people, the school is only less than 45 minutes away... so close...and i think of how growing up, you never heard of these things...and with this, comes those kids who want to take full advantage of that tragedy and school closings with bomb threats... and it's scary, because you just don't know...especially when you get the call from your child saying his school was the newest target of a bomb threat... yes, your brain says it's a kid just playing a game...that it isn't real...but the mother in you can't help but cry, scream and yell... and rush to your babies side (yea, even though that baby is 18 years old...lol) and grab him to safety...ok...no i didn't carry him...he's a foot taller than i am....but i got him to safety just the same...lol. i can lol now because he is safe and we did find out that in fact it was just as my brain said...a hoax by some idiot kid....it's amazing though how the stress just don't fly away though...and through all this, we lost a close family friend.... one that has always just been there...a part of the family for as long as i can remember... so needless to say... i needed a night of major destressing...which leads me to the beginning of this blog... tv... you know, just once in a while, it's ok to use it as a vegetation tool... at least for me, it's every once in a while a good thing.... i am a planner by nature...and adhd at that... which means my mind as well as my body is going in 15 directions at any given time... and that is on good days...put some stress and out of the ordinary life happenings...and then it doubles to 30 different ways...and sometimes, i just need to fully unplug...yes, i pray, i read my bible...i go to church...i have friends who i talk to and family that drop everything to listen to my woes... but sometimes i just need to fully unplug from the world and people... unfortunately, i cannot always unplug my brain... which is where just one mindless show can come in... one for just pure entertainment...one that i'm not taking notes to remember, or thinking how i can apply that to my life...a show that let's me just watch... turning off my brain to all other thoughts...and actually vegetating... and thankfully...i saved that one show to do that with...aaaawwww....
Now...time to hit the ground running again...mind in full gear and ready to handle what life throws at me... ready to plan the next step and steps.... watch out life...here i come... again :)