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    MILLISMA   271,027
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Questions that cannot be answered!!!!

Saturday, March 03, 2012

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder.......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on......

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

emoticonMary Anne

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
WILSON425 3/7/2012 10:53PM

    You got me reciting the alphabet! LOL

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DEE797 3/4/2012 9:12PM

    Another good one! emoticon

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SPARKLISE 3/4/2012 7:29PM


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BUTEAFULL 3/3/2012 11:03PM


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Q8PRINCESS 3/3/2012 10:10PM


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GOOZLEBEAR 3/3/2012 8:55PM

    emoticon I love several but especially the elevator one, I have done that so many times!!!!! emoticon

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KAYDE53 3/3/2012 8:18PM

    had to laugh at toast one, my dad is the answer, he like his burnt!! emoticon emoticon

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CATLADY52 3/3/2012 5:49PM

    Great! emoticon

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STEVENGO2 3/3/2012 4:38PM

    Had to think hard on the quiz question, but did get the joke.


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RUARUGBYNUT2 3/3/2012 4:33PM

    emoticon Good ones MARY ANNE

Tarzan is really a woman and you can see her moustache if you look close enough!

The press the remote harder thing is a woman thing, we just go to the pub!

Banks are run by Nazi war decendants, need they,re jollys somehow! [no offence to Nazi war decendants] O GOD I,M ON SOME LIST NOW.

There are,nt 4 billion stars there are at least 6billion & that seat your sitting on is wet
[Have you checked yet!]

S in lisp i think m would have been better!

>Oooo! Dont get me started on man on the moon i,ve seen Capricorn one!


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BUGSMIMI 3/3/2012 3:30PM

  Hale and I got a big kick out of these. Thanks! lol.

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PEGGYO 3/3/2012 1:39PM


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EGGBASKET1 3/3/2012 12:41PM


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CCASKEY37 3/3/2012 12:33PM

    Good to laugh evey day.

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NORASPAT 3/3/2012 12:08PM

    That one was fabulous HUGS Pat in Maine. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TRUCKERWIFE2 3/3/2012 11:42AM

    DH & I had a good laugh this a.m. Then he showed me the covers of our new dvd. It came with a plastic cover and 2 cardboard ones! We need to ask ourselves how many covers does 1 dvd need. Obviously someone brighter than us has decided 3! emoticon emoticon

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TRUCKERSMRS 3/3/2012 11:04AM

    A great daily laugh as always.

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NASFKAB 3/3/2012 10:39AM


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LIBBYG7 3/3/2012 10:29AM

    AAAhhhhhhh --- deep, eternal questions of the ages to ponder....... emoticon

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GRACEMCDOG 3/3/2012 10:11AM

    Those sound like Steven Wright type thoughts. I used to love his stand up comedy routine. Haven't seen him in years. Thanks for my morning dose of laughter. It's as important as vitamin D, I'm convinced. Vitamin L?

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1CRAZYDOG 3/3/2012 10:09AM

    Why is it tghat when you ask kids to do a favor for you they are unable to hear the sound of your voice but if you whisper "Let's go to the mall" they hear you clearly from across the house! Go figure, huh.

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NANCYRUBIO 3/3/2012 10:05AM

    Those were great!

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