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Friday, March 02, 2012

Inspired by the weather and several of my Spark friends who are nearing completion with their C25K, I decided it was time to get back into the outdoor cardio. (Yes I know, I was supposed to have started earlier this week but that didn't happen. Irrelevant!)

After I put on my new workout leggings from Old Navy and finding that they fit me better than they did last Saturday, I was fueled with a burst of confidence. I put on my black sports bra and decided it was warm enough not to wear a T shirt over.

I have only been out in public one time before in only a sports bra and pants, which was to a Hot Yoga class, and I debated lengthily about whether it was a good idea. Today, however, my new pants fitting like a glove and looking awesome with my also brand new Nike running shoes, I didn't think twice. I knew I looked good.

Even though there were a lot of people out in the neighborhood, it felt great to have Luna by my side running again. I felt like a warrior, for the first time since starting to exercise again. Not sure why I always decide to start again from Week 1 Day 1 (something about the step-by-step nature of my personality I guess) but it was even easier than the last time I did it over. Almost laughably easy. I flew through the first run cycle and wasn't ready to stop, so I went through the first walk cycle and the next run cycle too. And at the end during cooldown, I decided to do a few sprints, just to see how fast I could go. It's amazing that I haven't actually been running, just doing elliptical, a little jump rope, and some Nike Training Club cardio workouts, but it has translated over into more power and speed running as well.

I guess this is the part when the endorphins kick in... when your body can actually handle the stress you're putting on it and instead you can just enjoy the cool breeze and the feel of the pavement on your feet.

After my last blog I realized, taking the advice of a good Spark friend, that I was just going to do what is right for me and my body. I might be holding steady at 130 but I can feel myself getting stronger and feeling strong translates into more confidence.

Another thing that helped me was I read today that the host of Body Rock is getting breast augmentation. Someone also implied that the previous host also had it done. I have to say I was blown away by the information. It just goes to show that you might as well love your body now because even if you were in the most amazing shape of your life, what is on the outside is NO substitute for self esteem. Wherever you are in your journey, if you don't have inner confidence, no amount of new clothes or muscle or sex or money is going to create it for you.

After my run, I looked in the mirror, and I have to say, I am liking what I'm seeing. I'm a healthy weight, my dermatology medicine is really helping my skin, I have pretty dark eyes, and my body has womanly curves. I know I'll have more days when I am doubtful and feeling low, but for tonight, I can see the champion inside.
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